few and far between

Posts are few and far between this Christmas season. Of course I access the web more at the office than at home, and then of course there's the general chaos of the season. This is one of the few posts from home that you will be seeing. It's quite a hassle to connect to PLDT's dial-up Vibe access (can't afford DSL just yet, priorities!), especially when you're using to zippy access in the office. Oh well.

Merry Christmas!

Had a good time at my aunt's house in Alabang yesterday. All the kids were there, children of my cousins. The three girls were in their element, although they're growing up fast. Camille was actually in black flare pants (at eight years old! I remember I didn't own anything black until high school--but that was then of course, this is now). Pam was in a bad mood but managed to break out into a smile before we left. Angel, four, did the otso-otso perfectly. She even coached Nins, telling her, "pwede na" ("That'll do."). Louie was a bad boy, although hard to scold because he was super cute. Tsk tsk I understand now how some problems get rooted. He was really really cute though. And then there was Carlos, all of one year and five months and almost three feet tall and two feet around. He looked like a mob boss (Don Vito, to be more precise) waddling around and scowling, so cute too!

I realize we're all getting older. We used to be the "stars" of the Christmas day celebrations that have become a tradition at my aunt's house. Now it's the next generation. I do love my cousins' kids, but I don't really relish having kids of my own. Maybe someday.

false modesty post of the day

I don't know what they were thinking! They named me Employee of the Year! Me! Wow. Am overwhelmed. Surprised. After all that blogging and surfing during office hours. God is good. And then I remember, of course, "To whom much is given, much is expected." Suddenly the modesty isn't so false. Am quite humbled, actually.

shorts
My cellphone bill is up 60% from last month. Wow thanks to MMS. Hope I can keep it down in the succeeding months.
__________

A.'s Maid of Honor (MoH) treated us to videoke and dinner at IO last night. There were only a few of us but we still had fun. In the quiz about the hubby-to-be, A. only got 13 answers correct, prompting some good-natured ribbing from us all. Talk turned to depression and shitty men. After this: Props to M. for her rockingly indignant rendition of 'I Will Survive'. I also scored a new shirt from MoH, who brought a lot of corporate giveaways for prizes, what fun!
__________

Got a Justice League mug from D.--just so happened it's my current favorite cartoon. I gave him a burned copy of that CD he keeps on putting on the car stereo when he rides with me. Friends we are. It's all good.
__________

Why did they close Powerbooks Arnaiz?!?!?!
WHY?!?!?!

R.I.P.
Powerbooks Arnaiz
The last bastion of free parking in commercialized Makati.
Where I could spend an entire Saturday afternoon and evening just reading reading reading.
I'm so sorry you're gone.

Powerbooks (Live!) at Greenbelt 4 is just not the same.
__________

P. & M. had a beautiful wedding last Sunday. Her niece S. was so cute. When we were saying our goodbyes, Bespren J. and I asked for a kiss from her. She made me kiss the butterfly that she had caught in the butterfly release.
__________

Butterfly releases generally look good, but poor butterflies...!

seven days

till Christmas. Honestly? I'm quite excited. The season is going well, with the Christmas parties come and gone, bringing along a dollop of fun, a night of forgetting all the business-like cr@p in the office, one with old friends and one with even older, and dearer ones. I've found that I don't need to spend all that much to convey my Christmas wishes, but I know that I still spent a considerable amount. I guess it's because there's some degree of abundance for me now so I'm quite grateful for that blessing.

Sigh. It's hard to tie up the salvation of mankind with the gift-giving extraganza that Christmas has become nowadays. Suffice to say that my gift-giving spirit is a manifestation of the thanksgiving that I feel. Some people say that the spirit of Christmas is dead--if that's how they feel, then fine; after all, that's a personal decision. But the spirit of Christmas should never die if we always remember what we're celebrating. And I hope that it will never die in me.

work is going to kill me

It may be a long aftermath of those all-nighters last May to June. Or a manifestation of my general disgruntlement at work, and perhaps with the rest of my life as well. Lately I've been having quite frequent fever, headache, nausea and stomach pains. I know it's probably psychosomatic but it still signifies that there's something wrong, right. Oh well. Here's to my mental health--it's steadily degrading.

appraisal
The only reason I went to work today was to have my performance appraisal. Let's just say a was .06 points short of the highest mark. Aw. My boss still thinks highly of me, at least. Despite my having a messy desk and not wearing my uniform. I just hope this translates to a significant raise next year. Is that too much to hope for? After all our company is known to be p-r-e-t-t-y stingy.

1 minute
I missed the cutoff for parking by 1 minute. I came it at 9:17 and was going to leave at 12:18. So I was going to be charged for the next hour already. Grrr! That sucks. They should have a grace period or something. It's just a tad unfair: when I have to pay (and not just parking), each fraction of an hour is considered a full hour; but when you go on overtime, you have to complete the requisite number of hours (not just a fraction of the hour) to qualify for OT. Tsk tsk. Of course I know that's how the world works. But it still sucks. That's why I'm here typing this up... going to make use of that extra hour.

soprano
Been watching the first season of The Sopranos, Nin borrowed her friend's DVDs. Disturbing, but entertaining. Goodfellas with quirks and lots of boobs. The story of The Godfather was much grander but in the same vein as Six Feet Under, HBO has created another darkly comic series that succeeds in catching your attention and holding it quite well.

I also like the fact that Lorraine Bracco plays the clueless (? or is she?) shrink to whom Tony Soprano goes for therapy. Funny, because she was the wife of mobster Ray Liotta in Goodfellas. Fine. I live for concurrences like these.

a wedding, videokes and a trip to the south

I can't believe that I fit all three of these from Friday afternoon to Saturday night. Friday afternoon was the wedding of M., bestfriend D.'s only sister, to A., scion of a political family in a southern province. It was a beautiful wedding. D., maid of honor, was already tearing up while walking down the aisle at the beginning. I took some pictures but I really can't post them because the "rights" belong to M., all from an ethical point of view. They had some big-name political sponsors, but it didn't make much of a difference--it was still a wonderful and intimate wedding. Shared a smoke with Tita B., D.'s mom. This is one woman I really like. Their family has gone through a lot and I think that they truly deserve to be blessed. Felt bad during the wedding, though, and went home early, although Ibs and the bilyaran barkada were back in town and hanging out at the old billiards haunt.

Eight the next morning I was on the road to Sta. Rosa, Laguna, to J.'s house. It's a nice cozy house that ten of us there filled just fine. J&J also gave us our early Christmas gifts, shawls from Baguio for the girls. I got a black one, whoopee. That was a no-brainer as about 2/3 of my wardrobe has a shade of black in it. Videoke wasn't working properly, so desperate people that we were, we managed to sing most of the songs on the cable videoke channel, including 'Can't Touch This' and a weird Eva Eugenio song. And then of course there was the reason for the thought of doing detox in the first place: the food. We always enjoy J.'s culinary treats, and that day was no exception. We had a HEAVY Pinoy-na-Pinoy breakfast with omelette, corned beef hash, sardines, tocino and garlic rice. Mmmmm. Then X-Men 2 on DVD and then it was lunchtime! Goodness! That's where the liempo, chicken and baked tahong came in. Our itinerary was: eat, smoke, take pictures, watch X2, eat, smoke, videoke, smoke, take pictures, drink and smoke some more. What fun.

I couldn't leave right away. I said I was going to leave at 4:30 but they kept asking me to stay (and who was I to begrudge the owner of the house, drunken though he was?). So I ended up leaving at 7:30 and by that time I was in a bad mood because I needed to be at Music 21 at 8pm, we had a reservation for the Glider Christmas Videoke (videoke again?! you must know, I have a terrible, monotonous, singing voice). There. I was late. I left early and it was super traffic on the highway and then we had to make a pitstop in the middle of the highway because some people had too much to drink. Oh well. I got to the GCV a bit frazzled but in one piece. It was a good evening, capped by the fact that C. was able to make it--an old friend whom I hadn't seen in ages. He had a new boyfriend and was looking really good, this gay friend of mine who thankfully wasn't a screaming fag.

Tiring though it was, and bad-mood inducing, I really enjoyed the weekend. I was happy to see my friends and I was looking forward to more times like these. I just hope that it isn't only during Christmas. Diba?

the beginning and end of detox

I decided to do some light detox after a weekend of binging. Okay so it's actually been a couple of weeks of binging (since the Christmas season set in) and it's definitely going to take more than a couple of days' worth of detox to counteract that. Anyway I decided to go on a detox diet. I was ready--this morning I only had tuna in brine, a banana and 1/4 of a melon. I brought my own food for office: another 1/4 of the melon, and an apple.

At around 11am I was going great: I'd drunk three glasses of water and had some melon. And I wasn't really hungry. Only lunch time came. Was ready to eat the apple (and just the apple for lunch) and then Boss R. offered me a homemade fajita. Yum! Grrr. Detox is set aside for the time being. Or is it still applicable to have just detox breakfasts and dinners and not lunches? In any case, since I had already had a fajita, I pounced on a choco mallow that M. had brought as well. I'll have the melon later, I promise.

height of frustration, pt. 1

Despite the difficulty in keeping my eyes open yesterday, I was working quite hard on a data mapping for our latest acquisition. Unfortunately, late yesterday afternoon, our big boss (who is actually quite petite, so we call her our little big boss) told me that they had already assigned the task to someone from XYZ Co. since they were more knowledgeable about the data, a fact that I pointed out when they assigned me the task in the first place.

So there. Most of yesterday went for naught because I spent most of my time on that. At least I was able to make a significant blog entry (yeah, Christmas parties and otso-otso are significant, thank you). And then I left early and embarked on...

height of frustration, pt. 2
Email messages that zing back and forth within your office barkada with what you know are catty comments that were just bitten back due to the fact that the emails were for everyone but you can sense the tension just beneath the surface.

height of frustration, pt. 3
Try finding: (1) good formal shoes with just a hint of sexy (2) for chubby feet (3) during the holiday season with all the shoppers flocking to the malls. I was ready to murder last night. Everyone suggested that I go to Landmark. After all, most of the good brands were there. Unfortunately everyone else and their mother up to their great-aunt's cousin's stepsister were also there. And of course quite difficult to find shoes that will look passable on quite shapeless feet. Sigh.

height of pathetic-ness
What is the right term for the state of being pathetic? Is it pathos? Anyway, I'm now hanging my head in shame for something I did in a most annoying, makulit manner last night, which I don't think person-I'm-blatantly-flirting-with (but only for fun ha?!) didn't seem to appreciate or take as anything remotely resembling fun. So there. Hands off first.

Ooh this could get messy / But you don't seem to mind / Ooh don't go telling everybody / And overlook this supposed crime So sayeth Alanis in Hands Clean.

height of ka-jologs-an
Downloaded the polyphonic ringtone of Ocho Ocho. Instant hit here in the office.

height of nostalgia
We were back together last night, that motley band that was our high school barkada. Of course Anj was only there is spirit, being in Bacolod and everything. Adele is here for her wedding. Jen, Joel and I are sponsors and Denise is a reader. It was a good evening to end a frustrating day.

can't keep my eyes open!

I guess it was the general excitement and activity of the day: spending most of your time in front of the PC in your office, your muscles atrophy and a simple walk from Greenbelt 1 to Gilligan's in Glorietta 2 necessitates a few seconds to catch your breath. Anyway, I honestly can't keep my eyes open today. Right now, as I'm writing this, I have my right eye shut (take a short nap, my dear right eye). Since waking up this morning, my eyelids have seemed to flutter on their own and force themselves shut.

Anyway, we had the office Christmas party last night at National Sports Grill in Greenbelt. First Christmas party without the agents. Most raucous and fun ever. There were raffles (I didn't win a single thing), billiards (oh yeah, free billiards is always a good thing), Videoke King and Queen, and the CEO doing the otso-otso (novelty ditty and dance popularized by local comedian Bayani Agbayani).

There was a Dress Up Your Jeans contest for our Street Party theme. My immediate boss is a constant finalist in these costume contests. Last year she won first place because our theme was United Nations or something and instead of a kimono for Japan, she was dressed as a ninja. This year, for the Street Party, she came as a Christmas-decorated STREET VENDOR. Wonderful. The ideas this person comes up with. She was tied with another friend of ours who dressed up her pants with blinking Christmas lights--never mind that she had to lug around a scooter battery for most of the night.

This was my first Christmas party of the season. There are others more to come, but even if I only had this party, with the people I see day in an day out letting their hair down, I think you could call it a good Christmas season.

Had a nightcap at Gilligan's before finally turning in, with D. and some people from our Collection department. P. was a dear and brought me home. I'm glad he does things like that for me even when I'm so blatantly flirting with him. Or maybe because he was just too drunk to care last night.

Free billiards (and seeing your bosses get wild once in a while) is always a good thing. Only I wish I could keep my eyes open today!

[trying to sneak in a nap in the restroom]

not-so-long shot
It is also partially true that the quality of movies have deteriorated, at least this year. Although Oscar season isn't upon us yet. However, this could very well mean that Return of the King may have a shot at the Oscar! Woohoo! I mean, I'd pick RotK over Master and Commander any day...

new blog-friend

Visit Tatang's Karinderia. I especially like the physiological explanation of the pangs of unrequited love. Deeply insightful and replete with current events and cultural phenomenon. Oh yeah, and Pops Fernandez.

christmas party!

Wow it's Christmas party time in the office.
Nice to have an excuse to wear jeans.

oh yeah

I'm home sick.
Not homesick.
Sick at home.
Threw up and everything.

an ennui towards cinema

I realized that I don't watch movies all that much anymore. The last movie that I watched in the cinema was Finding Nemo. I used to watch movies at least thrice a month, but now the numbers have definitely gone down. It's probably that I don't have a constant companion to watch all the movies, and partly it's the work; but generally I think that I'm experiencing a pronounced boredom towards the movie industry.

Lately there haven't been many movies that I've wanted to watch. Matrix Revolutions came out and everything but I didn't feel an intense urge to go and watch it. I haven't watched Under the Tuscan Sun, which is probably the one that I would be most inclined to watch among the movies currently showing in the Ayala cinemas. I wouldn't be disappointed to just catch Intolerable Cruelty on cable.

So there. On one hand there's been a dearth of must-see cinema, at least for my personal tastes. Nothing has come up of great entertainment value (or any other value for that matter) since Nemo, except maybe PotC: The Curse of the Black Pearl--ah, referring to it in anticipation of the "franchise" it's aiming to become.

Then of course, there's that hypothesis that because I'm not in a relationship, I've no one with whom to watch movies, but then that's not quite the case because I'm still able to go out with my friends, only I haven't been really excited to see any movies. I thought that I had to watch Matrix Revolutions but it turned out it was good enough on (pirated) DVD. [Don't tell pareng Bong.] By the way, I also watched Pirates of the Caribbean at home.

There are some movies whose showing I'm anticipating quite eagerly, though, first and foremost being, obviously, the last of the Lord of the Rings trilogy, The Return of the King. There is also the next Harry Potter--am just wondering what difference Alfonso Cuaron is going to make in the series, because I wasn't quite satisfied with Chris Columbus' retellings. I'm also looking forward to Crying Ladies, with Sharon Cuneta and Angel Aquino. [Jologs side surfaces.]

So what is it? Maybe I'm just really getting bored with escapism. And that really makes me sad, because movies are to us today what the gladiator arenas were in the time of the Roman empire--the opiate of the masses. Hollywood is the new Colosseum, but lately it just seems that the entertainment hasn't been good enough to eclipse the drudgery and uncertainty of daily life. Where have all the good movies gone? Or am I just too preoccupied to see?

is that her?
I just saw the new Carefree commercial. One of them definitely looks like Natasha, my high school classmate. I haven't spoken with that girl in ages but we spent four years in the same class and were on relatively good terms. But I don't know if we'd actually get to talking if we saw each other on the street or something. I know. That's weird.

You can imagine how it is with the people that I didn't really get close to? I really won't make the first move when we meet up; while I'm sure that they, too, would think twice before saying hi. I feel bad that I feel that way, but I guess I don't want to risk a raised eyebrow and a "do I know you?" Sad but true.

as promised

Maleen's table with some scant "welcome back" decor.

The side board with the note tacked to it belongs to me. Oh well.

I'm still testing out the camera that comes with the phone. Apparently you can set it to a higher-quality picture.

welcome back maleen!

Maleen is back at work today after three weeks of recuperation for her dislocated kneecap. I'll post a picture of her "welcome back" workarea with balloons and stuff later. I took it on my

new phone
I did get a new phone, the Nokia 6220, as previously mentioned. Okay, so I blew my performance bonus on it. Satisfying, though. I don't know. I figure the optimum length of a phone with me should be two years, and the 8310 had been with me for around that much time too. Was able to sell it to my officemate for P4k.

wondering

If I died tomorrow, how many people would come to my funeral?

playing in my head
Kenny Loggins' Conviction of the Heart

"How long must we wait to change
This world bound in chains that we live in
To know what it is to forgive,
And be forgiven?"

meetings
Am in a whole-day meeting for system support for our new product. I believe that meetings sap the life out of people, especially meetings that last for more than one-and-a-half hours. Suffice to say that I do my bext work in front of a PC, and not in front of other people. But since most of our projects are cross-departmental (duh, we're in business processes, so we check the processes and systems of other departments), then we can't do the work alone and need their input. Sigh. These are times when I relish my 'writing time'.

blessing

Office blessing was today. It's similar to a house blessing and if you don't know how a house blessing goes in the Phils, well... there's a priest who prays over the place, people are holding candles, the priest goes all around anointing the place with holy water, and then the homeowners (in our case the directors) throw candy and coins around and people jostle to get them. Relatively funky.

I got three candies and four bucks. They say you shouldn't spend the money because it's "lucky". In any case I will just keep it handy here in the office for when I won't have money for a jeepney ride going home. Now if they meant to ward off the evil spirits and such: why am I still here?

i wonder how far gone i would be to do this
Man Burns Life Savings, Fails Suicide Bid

happy birthday sunshine!

literature + alcohol

= Ernest Hemingway, but here's a take on it that's closer to my heart:

Tequila Mockingbird
2 oz tequila
1/2 oz lemon juice
1 tsp white Creme de Menthe

Shake the ingredients with ice in a shaker and strain into a cocktail glass.

Toast to more good times at Cocktail Times.

update on my credit card
Talked to one of their "customer support specialists". Apparently my updated balance is Ps.8.89, because there were retroactive VAT charges. Am fine with that. Their phone service updating sucks. Oh well. At least I don't owe Ps.6,000 more than I should.

FGD

I participated in a small focus group discussion for a market-research company last Friday night. It was at a posh hotel in Makati, very convenient; we had free dinner (which was relatively good--I always like lamb chops, although I am particular to Cafe Mediterranea's version) and got some gift cheques from Rustan's (which I promptly turned over to my mom and told her it was my contribution to noche buena -Christmas Eve- dinner).

I'm not really a talkative person but I think the person that conducted the field interview with me and some of my officemates a couple of months ago had good timing and found me in my element. Last Friday night, I wasn't all that comfortable, especially since I was mostly with a bunch of pretty and sosy girls. The moderator was veering us towards trends and everything, and that made me a little uncomfortable because I've never been a trendy person. However, I saw that I was also into some of the stuff that they considered trends.

They considered badminton a trend, because it's just gaining popularity now; but then I've been playing badminton for quite a while already. Friendster was included in the trends; as well as bars with ambience and acoustic bands. So I figured I was still in the loop. Got thrown a curve when they asked about clothes and accessories, though, because heaven knows I think that Ps.1,500 is too much to spend on an item of clothing unless it is a gown. So with all their answers about Mango, Nine West, etc., I just said, "Hey I get my clothes from Greenhills." With a wide grin.

Apparently, the target market for whatever product they were researching is an upscale one; of which I'm just on the outskirts. I don't consider myself as really upscale although thanks to my friends I'm a little trendy because they introduce me to a lot of stuff--like nicotine, videoke, and those nifty bars in Salcedo and Legaspi Villages. I've developed a taste for West Ice, Tequila Rose, Mediterranean cuisine and Starbucks.

I've realized that if I were more of a hermit (read: antisocial), I wouldn't be into most of this stuff. I'd be pretty much the same way I was in most of Grade School and High School, either with my nose buried deep in fiction or typing away. I know that I've been able to juggle work, play and my literary apetite, but lately I haven't been giving the books much of a chance. I've had to experience being a social animal and witness the sordid underbelly of the Pinoy middle class life for myself and not have to read about it. And that's fine with me. I still don't buy my bags at Coach, or Kate Spade. I still only have ten pairs of shoes (for a woman my age, sadly below the lower limit). I still don't consider myself trendy. And I still yearn for a couple of hours uninterrupted when I can continue reading the next novel on my list. But at least I know I'm not clueless.

---

Posted to riannesravings@yahoogroups.com.

seething

I just checked my outstanding balance for my credit card and it's much larger than what I expected. I was actually expecting a zero balance, but their call-in service says that my balance is 6k. Hmmmm. And here I was priding myself on managing my credit card wisely. And of course all their operators weren't available. Wonderful.

fohtangeena

On the radio at work this morning: Backstreet's Back
It's in the other department but since it's Saturday, they played it louder.
My other officemate is playing Beatles songs on his Media Player.
Fohtangeena
They're both giving me a migraine.
But then I don't have migraines.
So they're actually conspiring to make me go insane!
Grr Argh!

(FYI, that "F" word is a bastardization (?) of a cuss word here in the Phils roughly translating to S.O.B. but used in a much wider context)

Everybody... ye-ah...
Rock your body... ye-ah...
Everybody...
Rock your body right...
Backstreet's back alright!

Yeah right.
__________

Annoying officemate is at it again. Complaining that his feet are painful, saying ouch in an affected, OA way ("awwwrtch" -- I swear! that's what he said!). Talking to himself (hmmm does he think I'll comment on his insipid comments?) about the peanuts + garlic that he bought. And now singing along to the radio. Wonderful.

Fohtangeena.

Haha! He's actually looking at some porn pics, I think. He's looking up at me from time to time to check if I'm looking. Mwahahahaha! This person is totally pathetic! Any more of this and I'm actually going to get a migraine!
__________

I know. Am such a bitch!

friday five

1. Do you like to shop? Why or why not?
Yes! There's a thrill in finding the perfect shoes, or the perfect gift... Also, there's that wonderful challenge of bargain-hunting.

2. What was the last thing you purchased?
Underwear at Wacoal.

3. Do you prefer shopping online or at an actual store? Why?
At an actual store. Especially for things I would wear. I want to see the real thing on me. And also for gifts. I like being able to hold the real thing and check it out.

4. Did you get an allowance as a child? How much was it?
Yes. Twenty bucks a day (at the time it was twenty pesos to one US dollar).

5. What was the last thing you regret purchasing?
These cheap shades. They seemed like a good idea at the time. Although it wasn't really all a waste because my sister liked them so I gave them to her.

Visit the friday five website.

taffy stuck and tongue-tied

Been a busy week. Even the holiday last Wednesday was busy.

And even if there's been so many things happening, I've been blocked. Writer's block. Taffy stuck and tongue-tied, as the Counting Crows sing on "Color-blind". "I am folding and unfolded and unfolding..."

Been to a bridal shower, was official photographer. It was a clean bridal shower, mind you. Had performance bonus (yipee! even if it's just a pittance, it helps). Am swamped with work. Behind on my Christmas shopping (who isn't? but I started shopping in August!). Depressed about Christmas shopping because this may be the last "happy" Christmas for the Phils with FPJ running. (Argh! Yes, no more talk about politics.) Going to miss Ger, who is going to HK to work for three years. Preparing for three weddings. Gaining weight. Looking for a sideline. Making new friends from old acquaintances. Missing old friends who turned into acquaintances. Ruing change but not resisting it. Feeling fine.

"I am folding and unfolded and unfolding..."

road trip

11 of us from our department went on leave and on a road trip last Friday afternoon to Maleen's house (dislocated knee-cap girl, remember) in Balayan, Batangas. Traffic on South Superhighway slowed us down but we were able to make the 120 or so kilometers to Balayan in about four hours, including stopovers.

It was really nice to see Maleen after a week; also was nice to be out in the sun in the "country". I'm looking forward to Joel's birthday celebration in Sta. Rosa, Laguna (about 80km from Makati) coming up soon. These day trips seem to be good for the soul somewhat--away from the hustle and bustle of life among the skyscrapers...


Shots from around. Poor me, I only get out of the city on really rare occasions.


Nice old house on the corner of Maleen's street.


Group pic! The IT peeps. Maleen is in the blue housedress with a cane.

Now if only traffic wasn't that bad...

Happy birthday Mommy!

Since my mom doesn't want me posting any pictures of her anywhere, here's a picture of a bouquet sent by my mom's friend who owns a flower farm (not THE Flower Farm, just *A* farm) somewhere. Nice. Flowers were apparently affected by fungi so they're not as big as usual. These roses are usually around 4 inches in diameter.

signs of the times

FPJ or Ping. There is no lesser of two evils.
__________

Two of my closest friends were at Planet Badminton on J. Victor street when it was held up Thursday night. Robbers were in and out in five minutes max, as their companion put it, it was really "wham bam, thank you ma'am". It was a good thing that no one got hurt and they were especially lucky that they were in the farthest court so none of their belongings were taken. The poor people in the courts nearest the door lost all their stuff--cellphones, wallets, entire badminton bags and even the rackets inside the bags...
__________

When our agency system had its first run in May this year, the peso-dollar rate was PhP52.07 to US$1. The peso-dollar rate for this run is PhP55.29 to US$1. All in the span of 7 months. Depressing.
__________

Betty Chua Sy was kidnapped last week and it seems she was accidentally killed by her kidnappers. I was disturbed but it was no longer that appalling because people were (are) being killed and kidnapped left and right. However, I found out that she was the eldest sister of a good friend of mine, Walter. Walter was my co-teacher and I used to ride home with him constantly (after WarCraft matches) because my house was on the way to Ayala, where he would pick up his girlfriend. Countless afternoons and conversations made us fast friends. Although I lost touch with him in recent years after he got married, his eldest sister's brutal and senseless killing still got to me, that someone so close to me would be so hurt. To see his father distraught upon losing his only daughter was also heart-rending because I know my father would react the same way if any of his daughters were lost that way.

Crime on one side, criminal politicians on the other. Am so glad that I am a Filipino.
__________

Forgive my once-in-a-blue-moon rant against the government. Need an outlet for burgeoning depression at the state of Philippine affairs. Need a therapeutic massage. (Ha!)

sensitive shmensitive

I suddenly checked my blog if I had disseminated any "sensitive" information (yeah right) about our company that might warrant my termination, because Microsoft fired an employee over his weblog, because he allegedly revealed sensitive information. I do talk about work but I've always been vague about where I work, right?

(backtracking through previous entries)

Yup, I think that's just about right. Although I can't say that I'll stop talking about work. Hey, this is supposed to be about my life and work is about 75% of my life right now! All I DO during weekdays is work (and work at being a couch potato). Oh well. Gotta get back to work...

M'leen

My former cube-mate (now next-door neighbor) Maleen is down for a three-week period at the least. There was a freak accident involving her leg and some metal part of the van she was riding home to Batangas and she dislocated her knee-cap. The doctor says it would take around one and a half months for it to truly heal but she can probably go back to work in three weeks' time.

Three weeks of no work for Maleen?! That girl's gonna go insane! Not to mention that fact that since our company's workforce is quite lean, no one's going to be working on some of her projects. Which probably means more work for the remaining BA's, including myself. Less time to post? Hmmm maybe not; although at this rate, I might be spending Christmas in the office. Bah, humbug!

Why "M'leen"? I dunno. It sounds like something from a fantasy book, you know, the ones with sorceresses and dragons and high courts and little people. Huh?! Am going crazy. Poor M'leen.

pakyaw ni pacquiao
Manny Pacquiao is on top of the heap! He beat crowd favorite Marco Antonio Barrera in Barrera's sort-of hometown in Texas. Read the full story for more details. Me, I just want to say that I'm glad that he won. Aside from the fact that he's brought glory to the Philippines and shown our "fighting spirit", the bugger's also getting a hefty paycheck. I just hope he spends most of it in the Phils, maybe that'll boost our economy a wee bit. Haha, right.

oh yeah
Another article in Cosmo. Under a pseudonym nga lang. Page 194 of Cosmo Phils Nov issue.

bazaar season

Funny who you run into at all these bazaars. Now that it's Christmas season, the bazaars have started sprouting here and there. My friend Cris sold me a booklet of tickets to this charity bazaar at Makati Sports Club over the weekend. I sold some to my officemates and my family; was there both Saturday and Sunday. It was the usual bazaar thing, except Cris' chef-boyfriend Rommel had a booth selling pasta and a heavenly panna cotta, yum!

Another acquaintance from school was also there selling jars of tsokolate (rich chocolate), and I ran into some old friends, former students, and what-not. Was able to buy some small gifts and charity Christmas cards from Museo Pambata, although am reserving part of my Christmas budget for a trip to Greenhills. What's Christmas shopping without going to Greenhills' tiangges after all? Divisoria is out of the question right now because I don't think I can stand the crowds anymore, although the really cheap stuff would be there. Sigh.

defined by x
No, not a nerdish post about math (although I've been tempted to in the past--teehee). It's just both funny and annoying. In the bazaar mentioned above one of the organizers is someone I know from a few years back named Mike. Here's how my conversation with Mike went:

Mike: Hey I know you!
Ri: Hey I know you too!
(exchange pleasantries while I dig up his name in my memory banks)
Ri: Mike J! (on a whim) I bet you don't remember MY name...
Mike: Uhhhh...
Ri: Hmmm...
Mike: You're LM's ex!
Grrrrr!

So there. I have been defined by my ex. That's happened more often than you think and it's sometimes annoying. I feel like I wasn't able to establish my own identity; something I'm working on right now sans boyfriend, and having a hard time at it. Oh well.

conversations with someone to whom i don't give much credit
I always thought X was a two-timing jerk and playboy whose sole mission in life was to flirt with all the babes in the office. When he and his longtime girlfriend broke up around last year I thought that it was just karma on his part. But they've gotten back together and I think that he's happier now. He's also one of the people that I consider my friend but it seems that that "friendship" was based on mutual friends, shared gimmicks and occasional lunches.

Last Friday night (early Saturday morning), was just really glad that he was there, even if his girlfriend was still looking for him. Apparently he sensed that I was feeling rather low despite the happy facade. "You miss having a boyfriend," he told me. True, true. I don't miss the boyfriend after all, maybe just the thought of having one. I miss having someone always there with me for every gimmick and event in my life (every single thing)--hence the frustration over not having anyone to watch Matrix Revs with. But other than that I don't really miss much about being in a relationship. Minor downside. Right now I'm more frustrated at not being able to be more happy with just myself.

Anyway, I can't thank X enough for insightful conversations over coffee and for holding my hand (of course in a non-romantic way). It's the little things like these that keep you fine. And sane.

letting my hair down

Literally, not figuratively. Figuratively was last Friday night with the six or so shots of Desert Rose and TGIF Mudslide. (Hair was in a bun, didn't have time to fix after cooking.) Literally was today because I looked at some old pictures and noticed that my hairline now is much higher than it was in high school. They say that pulling your hair back everyday does that to your hair, so there. Hair is down today.

The officemates seem quite stunned because I've only once come to work with my hair down (ONCE!), on a Saturday that I was on call, and only because I was going to a party after. I sort of think that my severe bun or severe ponytail are more business-like. However, almost everyone here says that I look better with my hair down. Of course they could also either be (1) getting used to it; and (2) pulling my leg--more probable.

mom finds out about blog
Saw a link to this article on the Blogger homepage. Hahahahahaha! Hahahahaha!

Am sure glad my mom doesn't surf the internet. Egad!

a (temporary) rich feeling
Got 13th month pay yesterday. Wow. Have enough money to buy the cellphone I want (Nokia 6220) but then I wouldn't have any money left over for Christmas gifts--not to mention for paying the credit card bill for the gifts that I've already bought. So after I pay the credit card bills, buy my parents' and sisters' gifts (which are the most expensive), I still have to set aside money to buy dresses for the three weddings I'm attending in December... so no more moolah. Sigh, I just have to enjoy the next few days that there's actually money in my bank account.

a night at home

aldo's pictures from last friday night (the clear ones at least)

Hey all smiley-faces!
L-R: The boyfriend of my girlfriend, the Atenean, Madr of all, de nephew, KH (partly hidden by de nephew), celebrator, celebrator's sister (hiding behind Desert Rose bottle), (partly hidden) Piaya, bespren Jen, mah girlfriend, Marielle and Jun (the badminton-ers).


The other sister and boyfriend. Note bottles of booze in the background. DaMike is making a detailed explanation of the Samurai X series for bespren Jen. Oh, and those are my blue walls. D. still maintains it looks like the color of bathrooms in the province (what the--?).


I thought they were going to do the three monkeys pose! Feh. Am disappointed. Are those supposed to be butterflies?! Note the girly-girl background for the macho men. Teehee.

Was a good night.

exercise in futility
Feeling badminton-ers.


What style! What form! So intimidating! Hehe...


Smile though your heart is aching... Teehee...

Was a good day anyway. Thanks to the Baddicts! More pictures is the Baddicts Gallery.

every beginning has an end

So says the Oracle to Neo, or so I've read and been told.

or, unmatricized
I still haven't watched Matrix: Revolutions. Okay so I know the basic story and everything already, but I still want to see it for myself. You know how despite the many times you've seen a multi-car pile-up on TV or in pictures, it's still different when you see it yourself. Is that weird or something? I wanted to compare it to the Eiffel Tower or Pisa's leaning tower but I don't think any Matrix movie is a comparable work of art.

So here's what I got from the people I texted/talked to earlier today asking if they'd already seen the movie and hinting ever so subtly (yeah right!) that I still hadn't watched it yet:
M: "Umm yeah I've seen it." (deadma, skirting the topic)
K: "Dwama!" (pa-cute but still doesn't want to watch with me)
Z: "Haha sorry to hear that" with smiley face at the end (thinks I'm pathetic)
P: "I already know the story and I don't plan on watching it." (taray!)
M: "Ok but I have to watch Reloaded over the weekend first." (now although it's positive I don't think I can wait that long! this person goes home to Batangas during weekend)
Bespren J: "I just watched it yesterday!" (then she went to take another call)
D: "I have a presentation this Friday, pwede next week?" (again with the timing, I wanna watch it THIS WEEK!)
A (my nephew): "Have to leave for the province tomorrow, let's watch next week." (Grrr! Argh!)

So there. Poor pathetic me. Will watch Matrix: Revolutions by myself Sunday morning probably just to satisfy my curiosity. Phooey. Though it's not like I haven't done it before. Examples of movies I've watched alone at the theater: One True Thing, Soul Food, Cousin Bette. Mostly gushy-mushy stuff, and mostly from late '98 to early 2000, the time that I used to go out with V. a lot. Since I was still teaching at the time I'd sometimes be done at 2:30, but she had work at a bank so I had to wait for her till 5. So I'd watch all these weird stuff while waiting for her. Well it beat risking my credit limit if I went shopping.

stuff from around

My Elvish Name
Órelindë Tinúviel

My Hobbit Name
Goldie Proudneck of Tuckborough

My Matrix Name -how timely! Me with a Matrix name but still haven't watched Matrix: Revs
Andromeda
[okay, now if only that weren't the title of a weird show by the creator of Star Wars with weird blue people]

Sigh. I wonder if the rallyists on Ayala Avenue have dispersed. Poor poor country of ours.

party-hearty

The last time that I had a party like last Friday's was four years ago when I was nursing a broken heart, but two guys were courting me (woohoo! those were the days) and I had a whole different set of friends invited, except for the one and only (or 25 or so) Glider Friends. This year I invited those people who were closest to my heart right now: the Glider Friends, of course; my office friends; former students who've remained close; and some of the nicest people I know, like my nephew, Kai, and Ger-ber and Charlie-girl (package deal).

My mom was the one feeling panicky for me. Meanwhile, I was recuperating from fever and some really intense muscle pains the day before, and was generally lazing around most of the day. Didn't take my LOMI, er, LOMA exam (goodbye US$65) because Thursday's fever seemed to erase everything that I had read about Insurance Marketing up till Wednesday. So I stayed home, went to the doctor, and then rested for the birthday thingy. Cooked a little pasta--I know that didn't turn out well because that was the dish with the most leftovers. Was just too tired and it showed in my cooking, hehe.

DaMike was the first to arrive, followed by Aldo and Raymar. Those three people saw me in my 'cooking attire', all sweaty and messy. Nice picture there, am glad Aldo's digicam batteries were with Denise. Quick change. Denise, co-celebrant, arrived soon after, as did most of the other guests. Someone told me it was a bit overwhelming, having around 35 people there. I don't know. I like having a lot of people around me. Maybe I'm compensating for my being boyfriend-less and a little lonely, but it's almost always been the case that I've celebrated my birthday quite lavishly, since I started working. This is my way of thanking my friends, who put up with my neuroses and my fits of insanity.

The theme was supposed to be 'cinema' but it was only manifested in the "game" and the prizes [aha! pirated DVDs!]. I admit I had a little too much to drink on a nearly empty stomach and ended up introducing everyone to everyone and shouting myself hoarse; so there. My excuse for being totally noisy and tactless at some point in time. Hey. My party. Take it or leave it. The quote on my calendar today says, "It is when we forget ourselves that we do things that are most likely to be remembered." Yes, I think I was in that zone last Friday. No regrets. Maybe some apologies--nah. None at all.

meeting kai
Hmmm. Was going for a title like Serving Sara or Boxing Helena--both box-office flops! Anyway 'Meeting Kai' didn't turn out to be that much of a flop. I have known Kai Huang for a little over seven years, I think. We started out at the MaxiBoard, the 99.5RT BBS system; then we all migrated to LiveWire (and played LoRD till we dropped or something). Unfortunately, the prelude to online gaming and BBS took a backseat to affairs of career and the heart (not necessarily in that order). But I still maintained my ties with some of the old fogies--CJSJ, Brian S, Eric Meim(+), and Kai. (I recently got in touch with Joty through friendster too.) Although I had met up with some of them (CJ and I were both from DLSU, Brian S and Eric were siblings of my friends), I had never met up with Kai. Until last Friday. I had actually set him up to date one of my friends, and they had met up, but I still hadn't seen the alien-er-person face to face! Haha!

Of course he always brings up that one time when we were supposed to meet in Glorietta, which was aborted because some person, who shall remain nameless, was insanely jealous that I was meeting up with another guy, never mind that I had (technically) known this person a lot longer than I had known him. Oh well. I'm glad we finally met after all these years. He seemed nice enough, although there was a feeling of him holding back a degree of wit and sarcasm. Hey, I know you're capable, dude. Cheers. [Too bad you didn't drink.]

cheers!

• Here's to dinner and drinking with wonderful people, and almost all the people I love with me all in one place. [After all, the next time might be at my funeral. Er, wedding?]
  
• Here's to it being a small world, after all.
  
• Here's to an early bird who was one of the last to leave (thanks Mader!).
  
• Here's to Desert Rose, much cheaper alternative to Tequila Rose.
  
• Here's to a great nephew who stayed till closing time (then hied off to an early-morning 'meeting', haha!).
  
• Here's to people gamely putting up with our weird (nerdy daw) party game.
  
• Here's to alcohol numbing your aching muscles until you wake up the next morning (oww!).
  
• Here's to lunches with former flames and exchanging pleasantries.
  
• Here's to badminton, the new shawarma (huh?!).
  
• Here's to life--sometimes you just really want out, but hey, things always look up eventually. Eventually.
  

tonight
Allan is listening to Incubus. It's now 'I Wish You Were Here'. Ah, to end the working day with visions of Brandon Boyd dancing in my head. Sweet.

Am still waiting for the party pictures from Aldo and maybe Kai. (Hehe.)

study time

I have horrendous study habits. I guess I grew up complacent in my ability to speed-read through stuff and retain a lot of information easily. It's not the case anymore as I've gotten older: I need to learn more complicated stuff and my mind, addled by lack of sleep, nicotine and too much sugar, isn't as effective as it once was, when I would step into the shower and emerge with the proof of a difficult geometry problem, or when I would breeze through a stoichiometry exam even if I was reading Sweet Valley High books under the table.

Anyway, I have an exam on insurance marketing on Friday. And I haven't read a thing. Time to buckle down. Sadly, my mind and body aren't used to that. It's study time tomorrow. You'll hear from me Thursday.

a week of no blogging

makes Ri a dull girl? Well, I sure hope not. To think that I've been a bit proud about being able to blog 'most everyday... but circumstances have dictated that I would not be able to blog for the last week.

Tuesday. Two long meetings. Sometimes I think that meetings are the bane of corporate life: time is wasted, people get sleepy. However, I know for a fact that our team gets our information mostly from meetings so I can't really complain. We are coming up with a new product and we are trying to fit it into our systems because it's totally different from everything that's come before. It's really quite interesting when you think about it, but after you've been in a meeting for five hours--you're just really sleepy.

Wednesday. On leave. My dad got some of his people to paint my room today. It's a light blue that I picked out from a catalogue at the paint store. Am a bit high from the paint. (No pictures yet, I can't seem to find the rechargeable batteries for the digicam.) I also finally got my license. Of course your license picture is never flattering. Grrrr! Spent the last of my money for the month on that freaking drug test. Hope payday's tomorrow.

Thursday. Birthday. Lounged around and then panic-cooked in the morning. Treated officemates to lunch of Ri's famous spaghetti, Crispy Chicken McDo, cakes and ice cream. Payday is not today. How unfortunate for me. Am glad that am still able to "borrow" money from Mommy. Hehe. Got jogging pants from my officemates (well they do know I'm really into this badminton stuff) and some home magazines (well they do know we're renovating the house). Got some more badminton stuff (wrist band and jersey shirt) from DnA, while Pol had my racket re-gutted (restringed). My ninang and my mom both gave me perfume--was wondering, is it a message that I stink? Teehee. Well, I do like receiving gifts, but I also like giving them. What fun.

Friday. Shit hit the fan. Some agents' overrides were erroneously computed. And almost all developers are on leave. Spent the entire morning investigating this and explaining to higher management. They were totally level-headed about it anyway, so it wasn't that bad. Left work at 1:30pm. Time to rest. Am glad it's payday. And after paying all my bills and debts and setting aside money for the credit union, am left with just enough money to get by this month and have a little shindig next weekend.

I realize that my mom's real gift to me was allowing me to repaint my "pad" because she has never allowed me to touch the stark white walls before. Thanks Mom!

Weekend. Was supposed to study for my upcoming LOMA exam on Marketing. Of course I didn't get past the first 10 pages. Yes, I know it's bad study habits, but I was fixing my room (fumes are no longer oppressive), playing badminton, going over to Alabang, leafing through old magazines to see if there were articles worth clipping, etc. I realize that to overcome my procrastination of the past two years regarding uncluttering and really organizing my stuff, I need about a week's worth of leave. Maybe I can also unclutter myself by detoxifying and soul-searching at the same time.

tiffany blue
Nins' friend Lavs came over last Friday. Of course I showed them my newly-painted room. Advertising maven that she is, she asked what color it was and I said it was something Harmony, it being blue and all, relaxing right? She said, "Well I think it's Tiffany Blue, diba sosy?" Kewl. I've always thought those little blue boxes were the height of class, especially after I watched Breakfast at Tiffany's. Wonderful movie with pretty, pretty people.

and now there's Myspace
Thought you had enough of friendster? Well I got an invitation to another online community that has basically the same premise, MySpace. Okay Ry, I'll register and everything, after all they have a Privacy Policy. But I don't think I'll ever visit their website again...! It's interesting because it's like friendster but there's a journal feature--but then I have blogger and blogspot for that...

I have to get all this in by 8am... aaaggghhh... type faster... faster...

In my sister's words,
Ayt.
(What the heck language is that?)

back an old haunt

I went back to one of my old haunts after almost six months of absence. Yes, I went back to Greenhills. Although we were there for only a few hours and spent most of the time in the Shoppesville area, it was a good kind of rush... even if we were tired and spent after shopping. Where else can you get five nice shirts for PhP2,500 (roughly US$50)? Am going back after having my birthday thingy. There are still some pieces that I'm eyeing for when I have a little more extra money. So there. Shopping. Pastime, therapy, way of life.

sabado nights

Ooh. Time in at work today at 6:41 pm. Wonderful. This is some kind of torture actually, borne by the entire I.T. department. Most of the I.T. staff are here in the office today because yesterday was the month-end commission cutoff and today we have to "stand guard" while the system is running, computing the commissions and overrides and doing initial checking because we've had so many changes to the system.

[an hour later]

The HELL... apparently Accounting isn't done with all their entries for the system! We haven't even started running. You see my work starts after the run itself. AND WE HAVEN'T STARTED YET! I'm going to the Santugon party now. Feh.

freaky friday

bad stomach
+
commission cutoff toxicity
+
no money
=
wonderful day for me!

i'm going home

on endings

Studio 23 recently aired the last episode of Dawson's Creek, culminating in the death of one of the cast members (and no, it's not Jen's grandma). As per the storyline, it's been ten years since Jen moved to Capeside, Joey was climbing ladders into Dawson's bedroom, and Pacey was a problematic underachiever. Since the season when manic-depressive Andie left to be institutionalized and Joey and Pacey started dating, I didn't really follow Dawson's Creek except for that one episode after a few years when Joey and Pacey were locked in a K-mart together and they used all the stuff there (looked like fun--I think that was one of the fantasies of my childhood, although nerd that I was, I fantasized about being locked in National bookstore after hours... bad idea: no food).

Anyway, "fast forward to a few years later", Jack is still gay but having a hard time maintaining a relationship, Joey still has that goofy look and is now a book editor, Dawson's hair is mercifully short--he is the writer-producer of a TV show loosely based on the goings-on in Capeside and still in love with Joey, Pacey is a hotshot businessman but still in love with Joey too, and Jen has a one-year-old daughter and is dying. Yes, it is Jen's funeral that ends it all. But they were able to wrap it all up: Jack and his boyfriend make up and go public with their love, Jack promises to take care of Jen's baby, Joey and Pacey end up together, Dawson overcomes his writer's block for his semi-autobiographical series and finally comes to terms with his life.

It's so nice to think that everything can be neatly wrapped up in an "ending". In a bridal magazine recently (thanks to D&A's preparations, I am constantly browsing -but not buying- bridal magazines), I saw a fairy-tale themed wedding and in one of the pictures the bride and groom were kissing, with a flower girl in front holding up a sign saying "and they lived happily ever after..." It all ends like that, doesn't it? The boy gets the girl, everyone is happy. But it doesn't end up that way in real life does it? Because there are really no endings, only constant change. A wedding is not an ending, it is a beginning. Even graduation is called commencement--commence meaning to 'begin', right? We begin real life. Even death, for those with faith, is merely a beginning.

It makes you feel all warm and fuzzy when Pacey and Joey, Wesley and Buttercup, or Jerry Maguire and Dorothy end up together at the end, but of course that's not all there is to it. What happens when they have their first baby? Or when one of them dies? But that's the pessimist in me talking. Actually I'm a sucker for happy endings, evidenced by my constant re-watching of the Two Towers' interspersed scenes of Gandalf and the Rohirrim hordes' arrival at Helm's Deep and the storming of Orthanc by the Ents (thank heavens for DVDs). But the victory at Helm's Deep only foreshadows the greater battle against Mordor, when a greater battle but happier ending will be won. And so in life, there will be many, mini-happy endings. But they come and go, and then you may be dragged in turmoil again; but eventually there's going to be other happy endings, and maybe an ultimate happy ending at the end of this journey.

So here's to endings... which are only actually new beginnings.
Except in movies and fairy tales.
Unless there's a sequel.

---

Told you I'd write about Dawson's Creek.
posted to riannesravings@yahoogroups.com

FGD

Just had an informal focus group discussion/interview with a consultant from a market research firm. Just the second time that I've been involved in something like that: the first was in McCann-Erickson when I was in high school, Maita dragged me along when they were reviewing a Coke jingle. I really thought it had something to do with smoking because the girl who contacted me specifically asked. So I brought two of my yosi-buddies along.

He was really friendly, of course he had to be to be able to cull information the way that he was doing. He asked about our gimmick habits, where we ate most of the time, where we went shopping... I was wondering where it was all heading, but then I remembered that it was something about "lifestyle". Aaak! Sedentary lifestyle is tops for me! Of course the occasional badminton game (and tournament coming up, from which we are not expecting much anyway)... Well maybe he was trying to determine smoking habits and cigarette brands too. Maybe. I wouldn't know. Anyway, it was all good. Nice lunch with two of my friends and a quite likable person naman.

hoy hoy FPJ

Man, see what you're doing to the country? You just hint that you're about to announce your candidacy, and the peso-dollar rate falls. Sharply, may I add. You've negated the gains brought about by the Bush visit, when the peso gained quite considerably. And what happens when you become President of our beleaugered country, pray tell? After you set your best friend free and clear him of all plunder charges, what then? Will you magically rid this country of debt with your magic sword? Hoy hoy FPJ, are you sure you know what you're doing? To whom are you beholden? Sigh.

two minutes late

Argh. Was two minutes late for work today--clocked in at 8:02am. Not bad actually, I thought I was going to be more late. Left the house at 7:16, then brought my mom to her office at Roxas Blvd/Buendia extension... and then went all the way back to Makati... I wasn't sure if I saved time by parking at the office (paying an extra PhP10) but at least it was convenient (no walking on gravel pathways), separate elevator. I could get used to this for an extra ten buck each time.

Parking expenses: average of 10 days a month that I bring a car @ PhP110 per day yields PhP1,100 a month on parking alone! Okay so that's not even 5% of my monthly income... but still! Eep! Total cost of bringing a car to work comes around to PhP2,500 a month because of gasoline, car washes and other expenses--and to think that my mom has paid for whatever repairs so far. Tsk tsk... all this thinking about expenses because I was two minutes late for work today. Sigh.

endings
My sister was amused that Studio 23 was airing the last episode of Dawson's Creek a few days after its Filipino copycat Tabing Ilog aired its own final episode, although Dawson's Creek had already ended last year in the States (we are behind, after all). TV series endings have commonly been observed to be let-downs. These two were no exception, although I wasn't able to see the Tabing Ilog ending (apparently, Eds and Rovic renewed their vows, Badong and Corinne are picking up where they left off, George has let go of James--shucks forgive the ka-jologs-an!).

Anyway, I did see the Dawson's Creek ending. More on that later.

some words from Alanis

excerpt from Hands Clean

Ooh this could be messy
But you don't seem to mind
Ooh don't go telling everybody
And overlook this supposed crime

We'll fast forward to a few years later
And no one knows except the both of us
And I have honored your request for silence
And you've washed your hands clean of this

I noticed that I seem to have more songs than ravings lately. Bad case of writer's block, not to mention dulled senses, repressed creativity, flagging spirit. But I'm writing about that too. Later.

mini-spending spree

Life for Rent - Dido's album containing 'White Flag'... must've listened to that song 40 times over the weekend. Other notable songs are 'Sand in My Shoe' and 'Don't Leave Home'. Ok so I bought the UM copy (LaSallians know what that is), so I'm not really sure if that last track is really supposed to have that bonus song that starts at 7 minutes... As a whole though, the album comes off as a collection of mostly nondescript songs which serve more as a showcase of Dido's melodic voice. But then that's my opinion--you don't really have to trust my taste since I liked 'Limp' by Fiona Apple, 'Stand' by Poison and 'Deeper Shade of Soul' by the Urban Dance Squad. [About the last song--does it show that I liked it?]

New pillows - treated myself to new fluffy fluffy pillows. PhP174.75 each. I love SM.

The Virgin Suicides DVD - haven't watched it yet. Although I really wanted to watch it before. Maybe I will be able to relate.

Saw the Buffy VCDs at Odyssey. Still don't know whether I should buy the boxed set from Amazon (real Amazon, not Quiamazon)... but what if it's available in Quiamazon? I would save 80%! Isn't that ok? Us being a Third World country and all...

Can't decide...
...whether to have my little birthday thingy at home or maybe at a resto. Was thinking of Bento Box--cheap but I really like the food. Nice to have it at home so that you don't have to worry about overflowing drinks (easily covered) and will cost much cheaper. But then I worry about the parking. After all we live in the sideskirts of Makati, where the streets are small with a squatters' area nearby. And our neighbors keep on buying cars without expanding their garages! Grrr! One time a few years ago, I was able to "rent" the parking lot of the church (a block from our house). Maybe I'll be able to do that again. However, we had to get the cars out at 12MN. Well... thinking thinking...

beating around the Bush

Haha! Talk about trying hard for a title. Anyway, my mom is glued to the TV (and the volume is up REALLY high, I can hear it from my room which is in the other end of the house--but then it's a rather small house). Bush has just finished his speech, and the joint session of the House and Senate has been adjourned.

There were 19 applauses, some commentator mentioned. I was expecting as much, even if Bush's speech was generic in nature, citing the victory in Iraq, the shared history of the Philippines and the US, and the need to be eternally vigilant. My mom was saying, why isn't everyone clapping? But of course most people who were kids during or grew up right after the war, the US is a wonderful country and the savior of all. Let's hope that Bush's promises, however vague some of them were, will actually bear fruit.

I like the United States but I understand where most of the militant groups are coming from; needless to say because I used to share their ideology. But most probably, that won't work here in the Philippines. I believe that if we're going to succeed in our niche in the world right now, it won't hurt to have the biggest capitalist power on our side.

headache
Am having a really bad headache right now (but am still posting). We just came from a meeting with Jaime Santiago, one of the florists that D. and A. are considering for their wedding. He has really good ideas. Of course as so-called coordinator I was there also; but I had to beg off from the meeting with the musicians because of this really bad headache. Add to that Kai's pang-aasar--hmmm take me out to coffee na lang dear, hehe. Maybe it's too hot--time to take a shower.

time to go

had a busy day at work
boring meetings and trainings
hung out with Kathryn, wonderful person
shared a smoke with co-conspirator and acted like nothing happened
at least G-boy's coming back today
had lunch and merienda cena at O'Bento but nothing compares to Bento Box
and it's that time of month, i'm not used to it anymore

oh and i probably won't have time to post tomorrow because i'm going to renew my license

tata!

wedding bells

Alyson Hannigan and Alexis Denisof (she was Buffy's Willow and he was Angel's Wesley) recently tied the knot. Hurrah for them (although some people in my PinoySlayer list are disappointed, hihi).

There's this guy who sang Didn't Know I Was Looking for Love to me while he was still with his girlfriend... I heard that he and his girlfriend ended up getting married, a few weeks ago. Good for them. Dysfunction deserves dysfunction. Haha.

my roles in weddings to come
M. and A., Dec. 12, 2003 - usherette
P. and M., Dec. 21, 2003 - lector
A. and S., Dec. 28, 2003 - candle sponsor and emcee
D. and A., May 1, 2004 - veil sponsor, emcee and so-called coordinator

ah, this is the life
hectic December for me then
wonder when my own wedding's going to be
i'm considering marrying my work
teehee

At Seventeen

by Janis Ian

I learned the truth at seventeen
That love was meant for beauty queens
And high school girls with clear skinned smiles
Who married young and then retired
The Valentines I never knew
The Friday night charades of youth
Were spent on one more beautiful
At seventeen I learned the truth

And those of us with ravaged faces
Lacking in the social graces
Desperately remained at home
Inventing lovers on the phone
Who called to say "Come dance with me"
And murmured vague obscenities
It isn't all it seems at seventeen

A brown-eyed girl in hand me downs
Whose name I never could pronounce
Said "Pity please the ones who serve,
They only get what they deserve"
And the rich relationed home town queen
Marries into what she needs
With a guarantee of company and haven for the ekderly

Remember those who win the game
Lose the love they sought to gain
In debentures of quality and dubious integrity
The small town eyes would gape at you in dull surprise
When payment due exceeds accounts received at seventeen

To those of us who knew the pain
Of Valentines that never came
And those whose names were never called
When choosing sides for basketball
It was long ago and far away
The world was younger than today
And dreams were all they gave for free
To ugly duckling girls like me

We all played the game and when we dared
To cheat ourselves at solitaire
Inventing lovers on the phone
Repenting other lives unknown
They call and say "Come dance with me"
And murmur vague obscenities
At ugly girls like me
at seventeen

belated friday five

1. Do you watch sports? If so, which ones?

Yes, the occasional UAAP basketball game, F1 races with Nin and GP, Man U and Real Madrid games (yay Zidane! yay Nistelrooy! and of course cute cute Beckham), badminton sometimes, pool, and some cheerleading and figure skating.

2. What/who are your favorite sports teams and/or favorite athletes?

Four-peat La Salle Green Archers (go Renren!). The grand slam Alaska team and Jolas. Kimi Raikkonen, McLaren. Before Sergei Grinkov died, Ekaterina Gordeeva and Sergei Grinkov. Zidane, Nistelrooy, Beckham. Jojo Lastimosa, Jojo Lastimosa, Jojo Lastimosa. Oh and Marat Safin just because he's so cute.

3. Are there any sports you hate?

Those that involve combat, like boxing and wrestling.

4. Have you ever been to a sports event?

Yes... (and the point of this question was? hehe)

5. Do/did you play any sports (in school or other)? How long did you play?

I still play badminton. Played a decent table tennis in college (won a frinedly tournament!). And of course there's my mean game of FreeCell...

White Flag

by Dido

I know you think that I shouldn't still love you,
I'll tell you that.
But if I didn't say it, well I'd still have felt it
where's the sense in that?

I promise I'm not trying to make your life harder
Or return to where we were

Well I will go down with this ship
And I won't put my hands up and surrender
There will be no white flag above my door
I'm in love and always will be

I know I left too much mess and
destruction to come back again
And I caused but nothing but trouble
I understand if you can't talk to me again
And if you live by the rules of "it's over"
then I'm sure that that makes sense

Well I will go down with this ship
And I won't put my hands up and surrender
There will be no white flag above my door
I'm in love and always will be

And when we meet
Which I'm sure we will
All that was then
Will be there still
I'll let it pass
And hold my tongue
And you will think
That I've moved on....

Well I will go down with this ship
And I won't put my hands up and surrender
There will be no white flag above my door
I'm in love and always will be

sightings
Saw R., the ex of my friend C., on a date last Friday night, rather early Saturday morning. They were both all in black. I knew he recognized me but I hurried away. I wasn't about to have some small talk with him on one of the most depressing nights of my life. Doesn't help that I went out with him a couple of times, too.

Same night. Was supposed to go with Alvin and his friends V. and D. to Dream bar but I was stubbornly trying to do something that didn't happen, and when I wanted to meet up with them they were already on their way home. V., my sometime-classmate from Grade School, had just broken up with J., my former student and ex of one of my good friends. Funnyman Alvin of course suggested that V. and I should trade stories. Hehehe.

Velasquez Park

(transcribed from notebook)

what the hell am i doing here?

the little girl is barking at the cat
a family is on a bench and i ask the mom for a light
the security guy on his bicycle probably checking where we'll throw the butts
and the lady jogging has gone around six times

what the hell am i doing here?

thinking around in circles just like that jogger
hoping epiphany will come with nicotine
thinking about things that should have never come to pass
but how somehow things are looking up for tomorrow

Sabado nights
No, I wasn't on a date. Didn't watch a movie or anything. But it was thoroughly gratifying. I spent most of the evening in Powerbooks reading JLA: Heaven's Ladder and books on home decoration. It was a good three hours. Definitely.

Heaven's Ladder was a bit strange, but quite entertaining. It was about the JLA encountering a superior alien race (to them humans were paramecium) that was around since the Big Bang but had no idea of the afterlife. I can't comment on the art, but it looked good to my untrained (and non-comicbook aficionado) eye. Sometimes the action was boring, but there were some high points, especially as they explored the JLA members' different ideas of the after-life. I especially liked Wonder Woman's statement, "The only way to deny death then is to live each day to its absolute fullest by constantly striving to carve an immortal legend which will server as your eternal legacy... by making the extraordinaty look easy..."

Also from Heaven's Ladder: "There is a sense of nobility and wonder to the universe that cannot be catalogued, only shared... and this can only be realized when we create connections instead of barriers." A bit cheesy, but then, peace has always seemed to be that way.

food odyssey

purple sky above
as natalie croons, "don't talk"
i stare into space

columns of white smoke
join the wispy clouds on high
the full moon looks on


rock-bottom
At least when you hit rock-bottom you know there's nowhere to go but up. Thanks for the knock on the head--I knew I was going overboard but couldn't stop.

Thanks P. for that phone call. I needed that.

battered young professionals

Laura Vanderkam wrote about how White-collar sweatshops batter young workers, how last generation's yuppies are now overworked $12-an-hour white-collar workers, brilliant but overworked with 80- to 90-hour workweeks. She also goes on to mention that after all the overwork, some people just go on to get laid off. But the lay-offs and some human nature work together so that the brilliant young people actually think about how they could be better off in life in terms of fulfillment, time and happiness in general.

Struck a raw nerve somewhere because a few months ago I was logging around 75-80 hours of work a week, sometimes spending the night in the office, generally not having much of a life. It led to a rethinking of a relationship, rethinking of the quality of my leisure and home life, rethinking of life and purpose in general.

Right now I'm still averaging around 60 hours a week at work. More often than not I still like what I'm doing although it gets monotonous at times. It's not that bad considering breaks and free internet though. I rather like the people that I work with, too. They're a good and dependable (albeit underpaid--escept for Actuarial) bunch. New office rather sucks, but it's funny that so far I've been spending more time here than I used to at the old one. Food Odyssey at the 11th floor helps. Hehe.

The thing is, when I was working all those hours, I felt needed. I felt I was a vital cog in that whopper of a project for our agents' compensation.

Would I do it over? Yes, definitely. Was it worth it? Now that I can't answer off the top of my head. There are, of course, pros and cons. The realization that my relationship was not "the one" was a noteworthy effect. The disruption of my body clock was not. There was bonding with my officemates, but there was also some tension on the home front because I was rarely there. But I did it, I got Employee of the Quarter props while at it, and was able to pay off most of my debts because of all the overtime pay. So yes, I believe it was worth it.

But only for the same two months that I had the office as my home. More than that and I would have to put my foot down.

I think it should only get you down if you allow it to get you down; after all, you should have it in you to realize when you're going too far. But if I were to do that for more than two months on end, I don't think I could take it. So after those two months I made it a point not to work overtime for a while; and I up and signed on for a few visits to a spa.

I can't deny that I still wish I could have a job at which it seems like I'm at play; but this comes quite close because I've found that I'm having quite a bit of fun anyway. You know, if I do realize that this really isn't worth it, I'm definitely out of here. But so far, when I ask myself is there something else I would be doing rather than I.T.-related work with some freelance writing, nice people to work with, and ample time to spend with my family and friends (not to mention Buffy and CSI), the answer still comes out no.

friendster this and friendster that

Been quite active on Friendster--it's something to do during lunchtime and when I get really riled with work, which is why I haven't been having daily blogs, my bad.

It's just funny how some people actually check out how many friends other people have ("ay you only have 39 friends"), or try to outdo each other. There are even cliques and everything!

Anyway, I do have 39 friends on Friendster but the most important thing to me right now is that there are some people whom I've practically dug up from the recesses of my high school memories; and I'm glad for that. I don't know what the fascination or obsession is with this Friendster thing but just for that at least it's doing some good.

One more thing. I'm finding out that I'm in the "older" batch of Friendster people. Aaak! Of course I've never acted my age, so there.

Happy day.

and so it goes...
Said co-conspirator from last Friday night is hell-bent on trying to act as if nothing happened. Well. I should have expected that.

convo in the morning

Me: (calling a certain cellphone number)

Him: Hey!

Me: Happy Birthday ****!

Him: Yeah, right, happy birthday to me!

[small talk about his brother leaving and our office transfer]

Me: Hey, my office is so close to your office now! Let's have coffee sometime.

Him: Yeah, sure, hey, gotta go.

Why is he so scared of having effing coffee (see-ho-hef-hef-hee-hee) with me???

and the transfer is final

We've moved!
And, oh, the agony of it all!
No internet since Thursday afternoon.
No network last Friday.
Much stricter office.
And a much smaller workarea.
With no keyboard tray yet.
Sigh.

aak! I must learn...

• not everyone is trustworthy, maybe even someone whom you think is your friend (I don't want to believe the above because I like all my friends)
  
• a kiss is still a kiss, but it may mean different things to different people
  
• my subconscious self that seems to come out after a few shots of alcohol could be a better, more morally upright person
  
• to stop obsessing over something that seems to have no meaning at all and about which no one else is obsessing
  
• to be careful not to fall in love with the wrong person and for all the wrong reasons YET AGAIN
  

Oh well.

Ger-ber going
Byebye Ger-ber. Will miss you for the next two weeks.

hangover
Friday night. You take a few beers after years without a tinge of alcohol. Inhibitions lost, the stage is set for waking up on Saturday morning with a hangover of a quite different sort, the last of which you thought you'd experienced when you were much younger and foolhardy.

Friday night. The hangover starts then. It's that sinking feeling you get after you do something infinitely stupid and live to tell the tale. Of course, people never do set out to do something infinitely stupid. It always seems like a good idea at the time. So you go out and do it. And right smack in the middle of it, you recoil in stunned disbelief, almost in horror. What have you done?

You get saved by the proverbial bell from doing something that you would further regret, but that doesn't really seem to matter because you have already crossed the line. And then you think about why you did it in the first place. Of course as they always say, alcohol does not make you forget yourself so that you don't know what you're doing--instead you just lose your inhibitions. And you spend quite a few minutes thinking what was it inside you that made you behave that way, and was it something that you really wanted in the first place. You gasp inwardly as you come to the conclusion that it was; somewhere deep inside you despite your exhortations to the contrary, it was something you actually wanted to happen.

Aside from you, only a select few know what really happened that night, which is maybe what worries you more--that someone else was in on it with you. And you rely on them to keep up their end of the deal and not talk. It is something like a gentleman's agreement but it seems you have more to lose. You wonder if they will ever talk; you wonder how their perception of you changed; and you wonder if it changed their opinion of you--because you wonder (worry) about those things, trivial as it may seem to others.

So you just have to face the consequences of your actions. You deal. And because it's a well-kept secret, you have to deal with the hardest of things: the knowledge of the deed and your own conscience. Because so much can be lost on the actions of just one night, and we almost always find out in hindsight.

---

Posted to riannesravings@yahoogroups.com.

Happy Birthdays

My one and only daddy


and also, my ex-fafa Sting


Hihihi!

first day of the month

Was supposed to have a massage at the spa near our office last night but something was amiss with the regional office and I had to stay late. Boohoo... missed out on the 50% discount which was only until yesterday. Bah, work... really gets in the way of personal gratification.
__________

Got here 7:05am. Officemate was already here. He's a bit on the strange side. Anyway, he was sitting in front of his PC in the dark. I wondered if he didn't know how to switch on the lights. He did though, but only when I mentioned it to him--apparently that was the only time that he realized that he could. Funny, strange person.
__________

La Salle lost to Ateneo in a game that ended with another fracas, this time involving even former players and other alumni. I'm all for school spirit and everything, but I think this is getting out of hand. As I told Imo (who is from Ateneo), I've always had delusions of grandeur and sportsmanship with regards to both our schools and this is definitely bursting my bubble. Bah, jocks.

Congratulations though Ateneo! It was a job well done. Although the fight in the finals (against FEU) seems quite even. Oh well, Archers. We've had our streak of championships. It's time to rebuild the team and start anew. Who knows, maybe next year?
__________

Feel bad because it's the birthday of our barkada here in the office today and because of too much work (remember, 2am in the office last Sunday), we weren't able to organize any surprise. I really have this thing for birthdays (and Christmas). Oh well. Lloyd was asking for a brand new car and we're going to get him a Matchbox. Teehee.
__________

Finished LoEG. More on that later or tomorrow.

It's October, my favorite month. Dad's birthday tomorrow, my own birthday Halloween Eve.
__________

Don't sit beside me, weird person, I'm trying to freaking blog here before office hours start, and I don't particularly want you breathing over my shoulder checking out what I write. Grrr!

By the way, time for me to mention:


Wanna find out what Psych-Ward you belong to?
Hehehe.

Good morning, good morning!

Save Ferris on MTV

I just saw Save Ferris' music video for their take on Come On Eileen this morning. I don't know if it's a good thing but at least more people are appreciating this band to whom I was introduced by the movie 10 Things I Hate About You. It may have been a mediocre (albeit loads of fun) movie, but it introduced me to Letters to Cleo and Save Ferris. I thought Letters to Cleo's songs (frontgirl Kaye Hanlon) were edgier, more raw (indie chick bands rule!), but I ended up liking Save Ferris more because they were more fun.

Yes, I admit it, though ska is almost dead, I like a ska band. Come to think of it, I like ska in general. I think it's very uplifting. I liked the Mighty Mighty Boss Tones and the Brownbeat All Stars, I kind of like Jeepney Joyride (although I won't admit it to their lead vocalist who's my officemate), I like No Doubt (although theirs is a fusion of different types of music, but Spiderwebs was a different story). But I think I like Save Ferris the most because they can make a thoroughly nonsensical song (take Spam: "Spam, it's pink and it's oval/Spam, I buy it at the Mobil/Spam, it's made in Chernobyl/Spam") and make it grooohveh babeh! And songs about shitty lovers (take "Lies" and "Goodbye") make you smile and bop around. Cute.

Finally. Maybe I like them the most because of total big-boned babe Monique Powell. Ahhhh. Sweet.

use and abuse

Wife-beating, marital rape, domestic abuse--all forms of violence towards women. Women are constantly perceived as the weaker sex because they are physically weaker, but I believe that in most other aspects, we of the fairer sex can hold our own against men. Take our tolerance for pain and how we can birth 9.9lb babies through normal (non-Caesarian) methods.

In fact, I think it is partly due to this high tolerance for pain that some women can take so much from the men that they love--so much verbal and emotional abuse, even to the point of physical abuse.

I can never imagine being laid a hand upon in anger by a man. I was not brought up that way: my father, though far from perfect, was always a gentleman. My father's temper can flare horribly, but this never boils over to the point of him hurting my mother or any of his daughters. In fact, he has always said that if our husbands would just hurt us, they should just return us to him and Mommy who loved us totally. Kris Aquino also mentioned this in her interview--apparently it's a well-worn line among Filipino families. She has put a face on violence towards women, an unlikely champion, but there are countless more like her who have kept decidedly silent. To put it bluntly, I'm really not concerned about her. She has a powerful and immense support network (double-meaning intended); most women do not.

There are so many stories of battered women leaving their husbands but being so easily won over by renewed courtship and constant promises, only to have their beating at the hands of their husband repeated, if not aggravated. When an incident of this nature hit close to home (too close to home if you ask me), I could not take it. This should not deteriorate into a vicious cycle of hurting and then wooing, which only tends to escalate. Some people are still hoping that things will work out alright for all marriages, and of course I know that marriage is sacred and all that what-God-has-put-together stuff, but there is a line between sacrifice and abuse, and when that line is crossed, I don't think that even God can say that they should still be together.

There are many factors for the prevalence of this problem. It could be genetic, the predisposition to violence. We might blame the parents, for bringing up their sons with a tendency to be violent to women and to treat women like objects or their property. We might blame society for putting a premium on males and coddling them. We might even blame the wives for putting up with their husbands' crap. The main problem, though, in these situations and the aggravation of these situations lie usually in the man not respecting the woman.

Marriage counseling could be suggested, but in these cases, I think that the couples should really live apart for the time being. I don't think a person can change overnight (call me cynical), and if a man's behavior is ingrained enough for him to be able to hurt his wife, then that's definitely going to take some time to undo. For victims in this case, legal and emotional counselling must be undertaken. But more importantly, I think it is the abuser who needs help.

The victims, meanwhile, need someone to run to--they need to have a choice, an alternative to living with their husband, especially if they are non-income earners; and because of this, I'm glad that there are various support groups and crisis centers, because not every daughter can go running back to her parents. But they should be looking at less temporary solutions and more importantly gain confidence in themselves as people, and achieve that level of respect in themselves that their husbands rejected and doused with their abuse.

UNIFEM lists Philippine organizations addressing Violence Against Women here.

---

Posted to riannesravings@yahoogroups.com

Accumulation

Somehow, the emails in my Inbox accumulate to staggering levels. After a long, staggered testing and implementation of one major project, I was shocked to see that my Inbox had ballooned from zero (unfortunate mailbox deletion incident) to 1,300 messages! Where did all these messages come from?! I was stunned. I went about doing some spring cleaning; in three weeks I had the number down to 400. I could breathe easily, somewhat. Yup, somewhat is the operative word there. Of course I stopped doing religious housekeeping and now the number is back up to 900. Fabulous!

2am Sunday at the office

There is something terribly wrong with this picture.

I am selling out to corporate hell.

Something that I have promised I would never do.

Glurrg brrrg hfggg

Sorry, that was me with my foot in my mouth.

six

six minutes to the office again
5:51 to 5:57am
are rushing month-end reports in time for the integration with the "acquired" company

five
The Friday Five. Decided to answer an old Five since Heather didn't have a topic for this week.
1. When was the last time you laughed?
A few minutes ago while talking about Kris and Joey and Estehdies (hehehe). Bisaya man gid!
2. Who was the last person you had an argument with?
My mom. Nothing unusual there.
3. Who was the last person you emailed?
The PinoySlayer mailing list. Specific person? Ms. Vangie of our Agency Accounting.
4. When was the last time you bathed?
This morning. Wow, is this a trick question?
5. What was the last thing you ate?
Becky's Kitchen caramel cake. Yum!

four
four points
La Salle defeats Ateneo by four points to force a rubber match for the right to face FEU for the championship. Even without Mac Cardona. Even if Gerwin Gaco (not to be confused with Gerwin Co, hehe) threw an elbow and LA Tenorio retaliated with a sneaky punch. Even if Ryan Arana and Magnum Membrere were ejected after a rumble that stopped the game for 15 minutes. Read about the game and the ensuing free-for-all here. Great going Joseph Yeo!

three
plus thirty-six equals thirty-nine vehicles
39 vehicles' tires were punctured when pranksters scattered iron spikes across a busy portion of Epifanio delos Santos Avenue in Mandaluyong yesterday. No wonder so many officemates were complaining of the traffic. They were reportedly scattered by two men on a motorcycle a little after 8am. The things people do! And you don't even know why they do them. Is it merely on a whim? Do they deliberately want to cause suffering to their fellow men? Is it part of a plot to overthrow the government? I can't take some people sometimes.

two
two smelly men
I caught a whiff of two smelly men yesterday on different occasions. Am particularly sensitive to vile smells and I get nauseous easily. First smelly man had a bad case of body odor. Okay actually I can take that as long as it's just a whiff, until around 5 seconds' worth. After that I'd have to bring out my cologne to neutralize the odor. Second guy just plain smelled musty. Could have (a) really weird perfume; (b) been stuffed in a closet for a long time; or (c) been actually dead at some point in time. He walked past me by the Claims department smelling weirdly moldy. Not that he was all that spiffy-looking either. [ Am so bad! :( ]

It's not that I'm being all high-and-mighty and everything. Heaven knows I start to emit my own odors after a couple of hours of badminton. Of course I also get disgusted with myself and have to take a heavy-duty bath. It's just... my olfactory nerves are really really sensitive. Although long hours with the dogs might have numbed them a bit to dog-odor and I can enter Tetra pet shop without having to cover my nose. Teehee.

one
one deliciously evil Willow
and one surprise episode ending
Willow was still on the war-path last night, with the much awaited battle between the Slayer and her best friend-turned-evil witch pretty much laying waste to the Magic Box. It was tremendously enjoyable, with some noteworthy parts being (with some commentary):

• The "previously"s showed practically the whole season (in fact, Xander says, "This is what happened this year.") and it's too much to list down here. As in the whole season.
  
• Hehehe. Sarah Michelle Gellar doesn't really look like she can run Slayer-fast.
  
• Willow's tongue-in-cheek threat to turn Dawnie back into a mystical ball of energy (which she was supposed to have been before Season 5, when some elders turned her into Buffy's sister for her to protect).
  
• Anya and Xander's exchange at the Magic Box while trying to decipher some ancient Babylonian protection spell. Anya says that it's all Xander's fault, and Xander goes on about how he should have stopped Warren because he saw he had the gun, and then Tara wouldn't have died and Willow gone all berserk, and then Anya says quietly, "I was talking about us." Hehe.
  
• The Slayer-Wiccan fight was a little weird. Maybe because they're both so thin and kept flying into furniture. Funny taunting though. I relish all of Black Willow's quips, they're so refreshing! And she knows how to insult her fellow Scoobies because she's knows them so much. If only she weren't out to destroy the world, I'd actually be rooting for her a bit.
  
• Jonathan's conscience starting to show. He was always a disturbed, lost child, like a few seasons back when he magically changed the history of Sunnydale so that he was the superhero and the most popular guy on campus. But he was also remorseful about that, and it seems that remorse is also getting the better of him now (including the fact that Warren and Andrew were supposed to turn on him and leave him to face all the blame).
  
• Spike is off in Africa (?) trying to get the chip out of his head, seeking the help of this mystical shaman-like creature. The creature says he has to pass a test, a duel to the death with this guy with flaming fists. Poor Spike gets all battered and burned, including one time when he actually catches one of the flaming fists in his own hand ("Bad move, bad move," he tells himself), but eventually jumps flaming-fists dude and breaks his neck. And then he finds out that it's just the first test. Haha. Poor bugger-ing Spike.
  
• And the surprise ending! Giles is back! His "Special Guest Star" credit was at the end and not in the beginning meaning Joss & Co. really meant to surprise. Black Willow (I really like the sound of that, sounds like Black Widow) has knocked Buffy and Anya to the ground and says, "There's no one in the world with the power to stop me now," when she is suddenly struck in the back with some mystical energy. "I'd like to test that theory," says Giles, standing in the doorway. Woohoo! The G-man is back. He was sorely missed. Looking good too in black and with no glasses.

Am eagerly awaiting next week's last episode.