Friday, February 27, 2004
There were also a lot of "cameos" the annotations pointed out, like the Beatles playing at a metahuman club (no faces, just the shoes and the bottom of the drums, but you knew it was them), and the Monkees becoming SuperMonkeeMen (or something like that). I didn't need any annotations, though, to see that wondrous pest Bat-mite! For those of you old enough to remember the "New Adventures of Batman" cartoons that were shown here in the early to mid-80s, you remember Bat-mite... he of the lavender costume, obsession for Batgirl (at least when I was a kid I knew what slimeballs some guys could be) and generally annoying presence.
IMHO, Kingdom Come is another revolutionary comic, just like Crisis on Infinite Earths or X-Men's Dark Phoenix Saga. It seems to shake the very foundation of the comic universe and adversely affects countless characters and the treatment of the characters (in this case, the metahumans) in general. And of course there is the epilogue which is just so sweet. Suffice to say that I had dreamed of that pairing ever since I was a kid but of course there were a lot of obstacles. It just seems right that they get together.
As chance would have it, I ran into DaMike in Greenbelt. Reminder that I had to drop off the copy later tonight. Goodbye, great graphic novel. It was a tremendous pleasure.
Thursday, February 26, 2004
I just realized I've started both my posts today with you. Maybe it's an early tribute. Don't worry, it doesn't mean that I won't ever be mentioning you after you leave. All my life I figured I've been resistant to change. Lately though I've been more accepting. It's inevitable, after all. I just have to think that everything will work out fine.
I had a packed weekend. In fact, coming to work this Monday morning was like a dream. It was like the middle of the week for me. [It's a good thing I got some rest time. More later.] The greater part of Saturday was spent at work. I was supposed to join the SmashPhilippines STG but overtime on Friday night was not enough to iron things out before our cutoff. I went over to MusicOne because I just had to have the Celtic Circle 2-disc collection--one wonders why one has to have a compilation of Celtic-inspired music, but I did. I was getting tired of waiting for the Two Towers copy Lawrence was burning for me; and I wanted to have a copy of some Loreena McKennitt and Clannad music, too, so here this was. There's no Enya, although there's a version of her May It Be vocal from the Fellowship of the Ring. Instant favorites were McKenitt's Mists of Avalon theme The Mystic's Dream (have I mentioned Mists... is one of my favorite books?) and Brian Dunning's CuChulainn's Last Battle. Maybe the next time I can reengineer wallet death by buying Celtic Circle 2.
A quick trip to the parlor because they were having a 50%-off promo on hair treatments. Heaven knows my hair has been due for one for ages. It took about an hour. I forgot to bring my book (still London, still haven't finished reading that epic thing--because right now the only reading time is synchronized with toilet time). Hair is softer now, but still totally frizzy. I think I'm going to give up on this mane of mine. Well, the mane was quite tame when Bespren J. and I trooped over to Rockwell to watch Runaway Jury. I used to be a huge fan of John Grisham but then sometime after The Client, when they were all being made movies, I stopped reading his books. By the time it got to The Rainmaker, The Firm seemed like such a distant memory. It still is. I don't find myself consciously gravitating towards any John Grisham novels right now.
Sunday was badminton day in the morning, Festival Mall and Sasha Pelejo's christening (actually the reception) in the afternoon and early evening. Bought a copy of Her First Bible for the baby. I looked over the Bought a copy of The Da Vinci Code, finally in mass market paperback which I can afford.
Tuesday was sick day; I had intestinal flu of some sort and it was not a pretty sight. Rest day for me but it wasn't very restful because I had to go the the bathroom quite often. Wallet death seemed to have been averted. Not to mention I was able to go through a couple hundred pages of London.
And then yesterday, of course I had to go out and beat the sweltering heat. I think it was to drum in the fact that it was Ash Wednesday. I don't know if the Catholic in me is being superstitious but it seems that Ash Wednesday and Good Friday almost always are among the hottest days of the year. Mass at Greenbelt amidst a mass of people--sweaty, with ash on our foreheads, mostly solemn, and feeling blessed. Of course right above the Greenbelt Chapel is Powerbooks (don't forget, it's Live!). Got my hands on quite a few books, including four bargain books for my teen cousin (about teen witches and ghastly things), Complete Idiot's Guide to Trouble-Free Car Care, and this hard-bound Jack Kerouac with which I plan to gift Bespren M on her coming twin birthday with Bespren J.
Then went to the supermarket. Was able to procure Mane & Tail shampoo and conditioner (recommended by my hairdresser) for PhP700 for the set. A little steep but then supply has been quite short and demand quite large. Of course I had to buy fruits, pudding mix, sour cherry juice (only available in Cash and Carry!), yadda yadda yadda... Bought Kirkland Calcium-Magnesium-Zinc-Vit D tablets too, since my mom already has mild osteoporosis. I sealed my wallet's fate. In the span of five days I had spent about Php6,000--considering that only about Php1,000 was real money, I'd say my wallet has been ferried across the Styx and is dining with Hades. Past redemption.
good and rich charlotte
Charlotte Church (whom I just saw on Hollywood Squares yesterday) is turning 18, and that gives her control of a $30M trust fund, earnings from her child prodigy career as an angelic soprano. "I don't really need a lot of money right now," Charlotte says. Give some to us, dearie. Hehe.
She will be embarking on a pop career now, with songs that are "somewhat rocky". Rocky as in rocky road? I just hope she doesn't totally turn her back on light classical music because I think her voice is really made for that. But then she could also be the next Celine Dion. Who knows?
Saturday, February 21, 2004
Untried but much talented Australian actor David Wenham was chosen to play the pivotal role of Faramir over Hollywood golden boy and studio favorite Ethan Hawke.
Egad! I didn't know this! Ethan Hawke could have been Faramir? I don't think it would really fit, he would be more dark and brooding than Aragorn! Wenham's portrayal and countenance fit the youngish Faramir who has to be both heroic and a confused son to the crazed Denethor.
I just realized that 90% of my posts this week have been about movies and TV in general. Aak, I need my life back.
Friday, February 20, 2004
[taking a break]
I'm staring at the stuff on my table. There are numerous piles of paper; keys, scissors, cellphone strewn about. Haphazard arrangement. And then I sneak a glance at Maleen's table. Impeccable as usual. No wonder I always get a "needs improvement" for my neatness and organization in all my performance appraisals. I figure, when I come back the next day, I'm going to mess it up again, so why waste my time doing that?
They say that the state of your desk mirrors the state of your mind. I think that's true. There are some things that are still pending that I've pushed to the back of my mind, maybe because there's been no time, maybe because I've not been able to face them. Like forgetting Z. Z is always there ("You are always on my mind..."), it seems; I can't seem to let go. But I know I must. Ah, my cluttered mind. Maybe I could take a couple of days off to bring some semblance of organization.
It's suddenly become very quiet here at the office and I'm the only one here. I think I will send off the last of my emails and go. Home. Rest. Badminton tomorrow. Am nervous and excited.
I'm The Mists of Avalon!
by Marion Zimmer Bradley
You're obsessed with Camelot in all its forms, from Arthurian legend to the Kennedy administration. Your favorite movie from childhood was "The Sword in the Stone". But more than tales of wizardry and Cuban missiles, you've focused on women. You know that they truly hold all the power. You always wished you could meet Jackie Kennedy.
Take the Book Quiz
at the Blue Pyramid.
It so happens it's one of my favorite books! Bravo Blue Pyramid! And thanks to ballerynna for blogging about this. Loadsafun!
I changed some answers that could have gone either way and I ended up with another one of my favorite books, The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy! Booyah!
E! Online (just one of my guilty pleasure sites) has a way for the common person to copy Trista and Ryan's nuptials. Of course it's a joke, silly! I particularly like the way they said you can emulate the 30-million viewership: have a car chase with your local police. Haha. More here.
Jennifer Coolidge, she to whom Reese taught the bend-and-snap in Legally Blonde, is said to be seething (ask Ted Casablanca of E! Online) because she's been asked to portray the mother of Nicolette Sheridan (yes, she of Knots Landing bitch fame), and she's younger than Nicolette! Additional poundage really does add years to people's perception of your weight. I myself was quite surprised that Coolidge was younger than Sheridan. Sheridan's listed birthyear is 1963, making her 41. But yeah, I don't think that the Legally Blonde manicurist (nail specialist) could be mother to someone that old. However, Angela Lansbury (Ms. Jessica Fletcher of Murder, She Wrote) was portraying mothers of people older than she was for most her life. She said she's always looked older than her age. Like Lindsay Davenport, I guess. And Lansbury used it to her advantage anyway by being able to co-star on quite a few movies. After all, you're not really older, just acting older... right?
Hmmm came across a cute face, Wentworth Miller. Co-starred as the young Anthony Hopkins in The Human Stain with Nicole Kidman, and as Dr. Adam in Underworld. Obviously I haven't watched my dread pirate copy of Underworld yet, or else I would have noticed him. And the clincher? Guest-starred on Buffy, season 2. Bravissima!
Thursday, February 19, 2004
Wednesday, February 18, 2004
There were spirited discussions on the PinoySlayer list regarding the Wiccan show, both pro and con, and I thought it was a pretty good thread. Although, notably, it was on a Buffy list and not on a Charmed list. But then, go to a Charmed list and everyone will like Charmed, right? So it was good. I like Charmed sometimes though, aside from the fact that they all look so good, I like the mythology of it all. Sometimes interesting.
There's a girl with X-ray vision! Gosh darn it! That's the best piece of news I've seen this whole week...
The first bit of news I heard all week was that Angel was ending after five seasons. And to think they haven't even shown the fourth season here yet. This was quite a stunning blow, especially since Angel is the only link left to the Buffyverse. I do hope something happens to extend the series, or maybe the much-awaited spinoff will occur. It's sad but c'est la vie after all. Who knows, it may pave the way for bigger and better things for the Whedon franchises.
Tuesday, February 17, 2004
Monday, February 16, 2004
Sunday, February 15, 2004
Anyway, after South Spa, J. and I were supposed to grab a bite at Suzu-kin; however it was already closed so we meandered down Kamagong and found Pan n Pals open at that time. It's a nice cozy place, not big but not too small; the owners were quite nice--it's always like that when a place is starting up--and J. is considering it for her birthday party coming around next month. I'm glad that I spent time with her. It's been quite a while and we haven't been able to share what's been happening in our lives lately. It was a good Valentine's Day. We went someplace new and out of the way, with lots of potential.
Also I got a text from AB. I knew it was a forwarded text but it still made my day nonetheless. Doesn't matter if I seem to be reading more into this than there actually is. Pathetic, but what the heck. It serves its purpose for the meantime.
the day after
Spent almost the entire afternoon at A.'s house having our measurements taken for our dresses for DnA's wedding. We will be having slightly shirred-breast mid-calf dresses in light old rose. It was fun; lots of girl talk and chika with the titas. A's mom was ever the nice person. Tita B, D's mom, was her usual loquacious self, snippets of droll humor included. Lunch was served (yum!) and there was loads of dessert. As always, Marga is the belle of the ball--GF and I are more on the taciturn side, although I can be quite talkative when I wish, but Marga is eternally bubbly. Of course the titas just love her. I was photographer--took pictures while fitting was going on. The kids were cute--it's always nice to see how kids get along almost instantly. When you get older, it becomes harder to get along with people. I always thought that was too bad.
Now on to losing weight before the wedding. Is important! However, the goal of losing weight took a major blow because we had dinner at Friday's. Okay, so I had the uber-healthy tomato-basil chicken linguini, but of course I had more than a handful of fries, breaded fish fillet and oh so yummy banana split pie. Hmmmm. Must... lose... weight... for... wedding... help... succumbing to temptation... aaaahhh... yes I want fries with that!!!
he could be hung
Remember my American Idol posts? Well, last week Nins and I were watching American Idol and we came across William Hung. The guy is an instant celebrity! And he's probably gonna make cameos on American Idol. Bravo! Nins and I were alternating between wincing and laughing while he was on TV, but we conceded that he did have spunk and was undeniably gracious. Just wait till he creates a new robotic arm and becomes as rich as Bill Gates and then produces his own TV show. Whoop de do.
Friday, February 13, 2004
Was quite glad to see an Internet Movie Database for Milan, HOWEVER, it was blank. Paging the internet-savvy ABS-CBN/Star Cinema people! It helps, you know.
T-1 till V-Day
No date, no nothing. No sudden declarations of affection, like I was expecting anything. Will have a good day tomorrow, though.
Just found out that Britney's "Toxic" is written by former pop diva Cathy Dennis (she of "Too Many Walls" and "Just Another Dream" fame). She also penned "Can't Get You Outta My Head" which helped catapult Kylie Minogue to popstar-sex symbol status. It seems she has a knack for writing songs that do that.
Thursday, February 12, 2004
But I'm not. You see I have plans this Valentine's Day. Am planning to start the day off with badminton with the other people from my mailing list; then rest for a while. Then I'm off to the spa with Bespren J. (am definitely looking forward to this). And then off to Pete's place with Ry. Nice day! Of course am highlighting the fact that I'm actually single, but then I just tell myself, it's probably just a few more loveless Valentine's until I find my forever-Valentine, or maybe he (or she!) finds me. Hahaha.
If you're interested in free SMS, especially internationally, try out sms.ac. It's not really a free site but they have a program that gives you eight credits a day. A text to Globe or Smart is worth three credits, but a text to most phone companies in the US is worth one credit. Am glad because I get to text MJ a lot again. For PhP10 text, it saves me PhP50 a day on the average, and that's good for my wallet. (Wallet Death is staved off until purchase of LoTR special edition DVDs.) And I'm glad that I'm renewing ties with MJ. I still think about the could-have-beens, but generally I'm just thankful that we're still friends, and anytime I do go to Cali at least I can freeload for two days (or so he says).
wedding of the century
Sit back, Hollywood weddings! You are not worthy! The so-called wedding of the century, the double wedding of the sons of Sahara tycoon Subrata Roy, will merge politics, Bollywood and cricket, will be filmed by a top filmmaker, and will be attended by the Indian Prime Minister and 11,000 other guests. Eleven thousand. That is, of course, more people than I've known in my lifetime (I think).
who is she?
The perpetual quote-a-day calendar that N. gave me (which my officemate Kim compiled when he was still working in Sterling) has this quote today: "Still remember, she is your companion, the friend in whom you may confide at all times, and from whom you may obtain counsel and comfort." I wonder, is he referring to a man's wife, or to Mother Mary?
I have always been a devotee of the Blessed Mother, since childhood, although lately, it seems that my devotion has fallen by the wayside. I haven't said a rosary since October; and I have not lit candles by her image since heaven knows when. I haven't heard mass in our parish for almost a year now, since I always hear mass at the mall or at another parish where it's airconditioned. I'll remember this week. I'll try. I promise.
Tuesday, February 10, 2004
They say that male children are more prone to dying in the mother's womb; my boss says they turn out to be the weaker sex because girl babies are more resilient and "fighters". I wonder if this is true, but then most of the "miracle babies" I've seen on TV are actually girls. Even that baby who fell in a well and took days to rescue was a girl. There may be some truth to that after all.
It's time to get back to work, at least to get our minds off it. I wonder if L. will want to get back to work right away, but as I mentioned to M., he'll probably need to be there to support his wife. Mrs. L. is going to be terribly distraught--I can't imagine a mother's pain upon losing the child that she carried for nine months. I really don't think I have it in me to be a mother.
To continue my Buffy slant (since I haven't written about Buffy in ages), I'm just going to pay homage to the following blogs:
- Crazy Fruit Pie Lady - y_slaybelle cooks up a crazy storm; I like Digital Dave
- Quite Wicked - Boo does great commentary on TV and real life
- Life's A Show - ballerynna gets her blog title from one of the Once More, With Feeling songs
- Free Vampire Porn - 'nuff said
And finally here's something I got from amyslayer's site:
And yes, amyslayer... I did cheat too (just changed my name).
Monday, February 09, 2004
I contributed a big fat US$6 to that gross, since I watched the movie thrice on the big screen. I think that's the price of just one movie in the US, right? Even less. Oh well. I was just thinking, talking about the hundreds of millions, how big that really is, and how Peter Jackson and his producers have managed to pull off something this big. Of course it's much less than Bill Gates's billion-dollar empire but still. $2.7B is a big chunk of our foreign debt. In fact, checking our office's financial statements, our total worth is only around US$200M. You would only have two Rings movies from that.
The cost of a movie ticket in the malls that I frequent here in Manila is around US$2. That's 0.000000218% of RoTK's total gross. And around 75% of our population can't afford to watch it.
Sunday, February 08, 2004
I agree the bags are cute, but I don't think I would shell out PhP11,000 (going price at K & Co. at Rockwell) for one of these babies. That's kinda steep, I think; and I think's it's just a passing fad, unlike the more "staid" bags if you may that do cost the same amount but which you can use everyday fo ryears to come. So there. We saw some imitation stuff when we went around Greenhills but of course it didn't look as nice as the real thing. There were also bags selling for PhP6k that they said were the original, although I didn't really bother to look anymore.
Here are more thoughts from our Greenhills day:
- I forgot that you should never wear shoes that you haven't totally broken in.
- I should remember my budget: had to pass up the Mango wallet because I spent all the money on blouses in Shoppesville and the tiangge.
- Such a wonderful place--where else can you get a set of sheets for only PhP380?
- Always have money set aside for "things-I-don't-really-need-now-but-will-probably-regret-not-buying-when-I-need-it-in-the-future".
- DVDs might be a good idea but I will never trade Dread Pirate Square for anything--convenience is the key.
My Milkshake brings all the boys to the yard
And they're like it's better than yours
Damn right it's better than yours
I could teach you
But I have to charge
Then there's that really funky Holidae Inn collaboration by Chingy (of Right Thurr fame, looks like my kid cousin), Ludakris and Snoop Doggy Dog. Snoop Dog actually looks human (and less like a dog). This has already been played quite a lot (I remember Common Ground a few days after New Year, everyone knew it when it was played). People who know me from way back are often quite surprised that my tastes in music have become quite varied. I used to be a solid pop- and glam-rock girl. Good thing I've decided to broaden my horizons a bit! I guess I was missing out on a lot by being too snobbish towards rap/hiphop. Sometimes I don't consider them "serious" music but I guess that's leftover snobbery for you. These songs are totally entertaining and decidedly an integral part of the world view of culture today.
Friday, February 06, 2004
Anyway, leaving Roxas-Buendia at 7am usually brings you to Makati by 7:15. Usually. Wednesday was a good day, I was along dela Rosa-Amorsolo by 7:15, so I decided to make a side trip to (dread pirate den) to drive-through at still-my-preferred-fastfood-place McDo. Hmmm Sausage McMuffin, a hash brown and iced tea. Yum. Just PhP55. However, if I was going to do that everyday AND spring for lunch, I don't think I'd have enough cash left to indulge my whims. So yesterday, I really tried to eat breakfast at home. Apparently, eating at six in the morning doesn't last me till lunchtime. So scrap that. Anyway, today I had a a French Baker muffin from home, instant coffee from a pack that I had brought and leftover pasta from Wednesday's lunch. At 7:30am. Nice. I didn't spend a thing and I wasn't hungry until 11:30. Nice one.
How ho-hum my life has been these past few days. I gues I just wrote this to indeed prove that, starting at breakfast, I don't really have a typical day.
last night's starworld menu
It was the last episode of Roswell. Okay, I don't really follow Roswell the way I follow Buffy, but I still have watched a substantial number of episodes. I think Shiri Appleby is pretty. [Pretty much the same reason I watch Smallville, because I like seeing Kristine Kreuk. Feh, call me a lesbian if you want. Anyway, it was a very anticlimactic ending... An ending for the sake of having an ending. Okay, so it was open-ended--maybe they can have a reunion TV movie or something like that--but I really thought it was disappointing. My goodness, they had Tess blow up an Air Force base and then *that* was the followup? Sayang.
And then there was the first episode of American Idol season 3. Admittedly I had quite a number of good laughs at both the contestants and the judges. The judges are sometimes holier-than-thou, but a lot of their comments were well-put and sometimes quite witty. But MAN! Those people who auditioned! Some of them were in a class all their own. There were quite a lot of tone-deaf people (I thought I could actually sing better than some of them)--did they know that they were joining a singing contest. And there was that funny montage of people singing "A Whole New World". Oh well.
Just realized that there were quite a lot of kooks out there and some people are really just plain deluded. Admittedly, the judges can sometimes be harsh--one girl looked like she was going to cry, but I guess that's their job. Maybe those people shouldn't have joined if they couldn't take the heat, knowing the show that they were auditioning for. I don't think I'll enjoy watching Americna Idol after this, though. I think shows like these (including the copycats Star in a Million and Starstruck) are quite boring, thank you. Give me For Love or Money, Joe Millionaire and The Bachelorette anytime.
Thursday, February 05, 2004
patience is a virtue
Is hard because I'm frustrated at officemate because it's so hard to explain stuff to him... twice already I've gotten wrong output from him. I thought my specs were really easy but apparently he has a hard time understanding stuff. Agh! Have to be patient. It's hard. I swear. I'm trying!
Wednesday, February 04, 2004
Scorpio Drinking Style
Don't ever tell Scorpios they've had enough, for they'll smirk at you and quietly but intentionally keep tippling till they're hog-whimpering drunk, out of 100-proof spite. Scorpios like to drink, and screw you if you have a problem with that. Most of them see the sauce as something to savor in itself, and not as a personality-altering tool -- though if depressed, self-loathing Scorps seek total obliteration (yup! been there, done that). But generally, they're fascinating drinking pals, brilliant conversationalists(true, true) and dizzying flirts(ahehehehe). They also remember everything -- especially what you did when you were blitzed. Only drink with a Scorpio who likes you.
Just as a Scorpio can look you in the eye and smile while secretly plotting your demise, so does the brandy-laced stinger's sweet taste hide a potent amount of alcohol. If you want to get literal, serve them a scorpion -- they may not love tropical drinks, but it shows you're paying attention. Scorpio rules watermelon (sic--but it's true about the watermelon... yum yum), so break out the blender and fix a pitcher of watermelon margaritas to seduce 'em -- though red wine will do the trick just as well.
Tuesday, February 03, 2004
Instruction: Choose a singer/band/musician and answer only in song titles or album titles by them:
I choose: 10,000 Maniacs
(Ryanne said she figured I'd choose them. It was either them or the Corrs.)
1. Are you male or female? I'm Not the Man
2. How old are you? How You've Grown
3. Describe yourself: Jezebel
4. How do some people feel about you? You Happy Puppet
5. How do you feel about yourself? Gun Shy
6. Describe your ex: Candy Everybody Wants
7. Describe your views on significant others and crushes: Like the Weather
8. Describe what you want: Our Time in Eden
9. Describe how you live: Blind Man's Zoo
10. Describe how you love: Scorpio Rising
11. Share a few words of wisdom: Tolerance
The movie marks the first time in history that the third movie in a trilogy has been nominated for Best Picture, by the Academy Awards and Golden Globes, even after the first two failed to win.
Monday, February 02, 2004
My father is in the Medical Center in Parañaque. A few nights ago he brought their mother home from the hospital: she had contracted pneumonia, and for someone who's 88 years old and whose body is unable to produce hemoglobin, that's tantamount to a death sentence. The doctors had given her blood transfusions and other IV fluids, and her vital signs seemed well enough to warrant the doctors' advise for her children to take her home. Today she had a relapse; my father and his siblings are at her bedside because they fear the worst: at ages ranging 51 to 63 years old, they will become orphans (if you could call them that). My father is fatalistic, with his que sera sera attitude: if it is time, then it is time. Our steadfast, constant Old Lady will be gone.
We all called her Mamang, which was what her daughter and three sons called her. Papang, our grandfather, was the one with the illustrious surname, but he looked more Chinese and Indian than Spanish. My grandmother looked like Gloria Romero and we were thankful that some of her Castilian features had passed on to us. My sister has her alabaster skin and my cousin has her thoughtful brown eyes. Mamang belonged to a different era. She was a true housewife: in all the years that my mother had known her mother-in-law, even from before she and Daddy were married, Mamang never left the house. She was content with holding court in their Pandacan domicile, and later, in Alabang, crocheting, chewing her betel, and humming along to the radio.
My youngest cousin Paolo, whom she practically raised, is her favorite; but she never failed to show us the trademark doting and affection that only a grandmother could bestow upon her grandchildren. She told us about how she never knew her parents and was brought up by a distant aunt; how it was a turn of good fortune that she married the son of a haciendero. She told us how she missed her eldest and only daughter when she left to study in Manila, how it was like she was always parched for her beloved daughter's presence that she braved travel despite her fears and moved to Manila so that she would not be separated from her children. Transplanted to urban Manila, she still retained er 'probinsyana' simplicity and her inherent trust in people. She taught us about acceptance and unconditional love, because she accepted Papang's children from a liaison from his youth, accepting their children as her own grandchildren.
She always frowned, when, as a 16-year-old, I would wear my hair in a severe bun; she told me to look my age. Two years ago, she asked me why I wasn't seeing anyone seriously enough to plan marriage; she wanted more great-grandchildren. She took pleasure in children. She befriended the household help so they were devoted to her. She was lively and wished only happiness for everyone around her.
My grandmother is no longer that woman. These last few months, she has become more hunched than usual; her hair has turned almost wholly white, and her white skin has become more and more thin and translucent. She stopped watching telenovelas; and she could not reconcile her children with the adults they had become. Now she's in the throes of a second childhood. The change came gradually, according to my aunt, but I know that I did not notice until she no longer knew my name. Maybe I was not around as much as I needed to be. We grandchildren were living our own lives, building our own futures and searching for our own identity. We were at school, or work, or with our friends; we were going through adolescence, boyfriends and quarter-life crises; my cousins were bearing their children. Our crowing about her at this final stage is our last hurrah; but thankfully it is not as if we did not know how it was to be her grandchildren. At least, of her five apo sa tuhod, there are two of them who will always have fond memories of their great-grandmother.
Death is always a mystery, bringing both fear and curiosity. I wonder if it is truly just dreamless sleep. Sometimes I dread that she will be leaving us, but I know that with her condition now, she can only be heading towards a better place. That I seem to be eulogizing my grandmother even before she is gone is only my way of dealing with the impending loss. There is no inheritance for us to squabble over: the two haciendas that were Papang's inheritance were sold to sponsor the move to Manila. But Mamang has bequeathed us with an inheritance far more important than land. She has provided us with inspiration from the story of her life; she is the stock from which we have branched out; and it is her memory that will form part of the foundation of my cousins', my sisters' and my spirit.
a celebration of life
while commemorating death
My nephew during Mamang's first death anniversary yesterday. The generations are moving forward, and the world is changing.
It's just funny how most of this group of friend's parties turn out the same way. Drinking, cigarettes, nostalgia and a whole lot of heckling. I don't think I can take more than one of these parties in a week. Sometimes it's really nice to try something new. I wonder when we're going back to Pete's place.
Sigh. I know. Another testosterone-y movie. Oh well. Decided that Buffybot's right. Am not entirely over Orli. Am still looking for nice David Wenham wallpaper though.