My first grade teacher has Stage 4 breast cancer that has metastasized to the bone. She was one of my favorite teachers and she and my mom became close because she lived one street away and a certain United Nations day incident where I represented Japan.
I don't remember most of my teachers from grade school; but her I do remember because she was a big part of my life. Maybe I was more awestruck by teachers then; but maybe it was because she was a wonderful person whom I felt was like a second mother to me. Too often we take our teachers forgranted; it's poignant to note that there were some people who were totally devoted to that noble profession, who could reign in a class of 6-year-olds, even if she had to threaten to pull down some people's panties at some time or another.
I guess I wanted my other classmates to know and a lot of these people that I haven't heard from in ages are coming out of the woodwork. We might come up with a video or a big card with pictures or something... but what's most important is that we give her our support and prayers. And after two decades, we still know her, we still hold her dear enough and think of her enough to at least try to do something, and we are trying to do that together--I'm proud that I was part of that class.
Friday, August 29, 2003
Thursday, August 28, 2003
Reasons to stay up late
Wednesday, August 27, 2003
Generations, England and Michener
Blame it on James A. Michener's Poland. I don't understand why I thoroughly enjoy sprawling sagas that take place over the course of x generations spanning centuries. Am currently finishing Sarum by Edward Rutherfurd, his first novel, which I bought because it was only PhP55 at Book Sale and had a picture of Stonehenge on the cover. It's quite funny that character traits can survive generations but then I've seen some survive survive from my grandfather to my father to myself.
Maybe I like this book because I like England; I'm a closet Anglophile, I guess. My most favorite things about England are the druidic mysteries, Stonehenge, the Arthurian legends (which are touched on in Sarum), and Elizabeth I. In this vein, I thoroughly enjoyed Marion Zimmer Bradley's Avalon series: The Forest House, Lady of Avalon, Priestess of Avalon and The Mists of Avalon.
About James Michener--although he has many a sprawling generational saga, two of his books that I thoroughly enjoyed didn't exactly span centuries. Instead one was about the space race (Space) and the other was about writing and literary criticism (The Novel). It's highly probable that the sophisticated tastes of today's literary purveyors have outgrown Michener, but I must admit that the old guy told an entrancing tale. Here's to Michener, bard.
Maybe I like this book because I like England; I'm a closet Anglophile, I guess. My most favorite things about England are the druidic mysteries, Stonehenge, the Arthurian legends (which are touched on in Sarum), and Elizabeth I. In this vein, I thoroughly enjoyed Marion Zimmer Bradley's Avalon series: The Forest House, Lady of Avalon, Priestess of Avalon and The Mists of Avalon.
About James Michener--although he has many a sprawling generational saga, two of his books that I thoroughly enjoyed didn't exactly span centuries. Instead one was about the space race (Space) and the other was about writing and literary criticism (The Novel). It's highly probable that the sophisticated tastes of today's literary purveyors have outgrown Michener, but I must admit that the old guy told an entrancing tale. Here's to Michener, bard.
Monday, August 25, 2003
i'll stop the world and melt with you
and Concerts
Modern English's 'I Melt With You' is playing on the radio. I like new wave songs but oftentimes I jumble them all up and mix up titles, singers or both. But I like them because they remind me of when I was a kid. Ah, those were simpler times, the People Power era. Kris Aquino was still a nene teenager in glasses. The Flight of Dragons was great animation. All was good. And no thanks to The Princess Bride, I think I still believed in finding true love then.
My friend is offering me a ticket to the Plumb concert on Saturday. I wanted to watch, too--however, a prior commitment means that I have to wake up well-rested early Sunday morning. I don't know when I last went to an actual concert. I think it was Gary V. at Hard Rock in 1997. Happier times again. Is a gig at Hard Rock considered a concert? If not, then it was the Sting concert in '96, good times with Mike, Via and Mandy. I've since lost the souvenir shirt that I bought. But I still have the memories of Sting taking off his black shirt (hooie!). I've realized that I haven't actively been watching concerts or gigs, although I claim to like music. I wonder. I was supposed to watch Alanis when she was here at the height of APEC but ended up going to a friend's party (yes, Maita was that important to us). Of course if Natalie Merchant (and--wishful thinking--the rest of 10,000 Maniacs) included the Philippines in a world tour...
My friend is offering me a ticket to the Plumb concert on Saturday. I wanted to watch, too--however, a prior commitment means that I have to wake up well-rested early Sunday morning. I don't know when I last went to an actual concert. I think it was Gary V. at Hard Rock in 1997. Happier times again. Is a gig at Hard Rock considered a concert? If not, then it was the Sting concert in '96, good times with Mike, Via and Mandy. I've since lost the souvenir shirt that I bought. But I still have the memories of Sting taking off his black shirt (hooie!). I've realized that I haven't actively been watching concerts or gigs, although I claim to like music. I wonder. I was supposed to watch Alanis when she was here at the height of APEC but ended up going to a friend's party (yes, Maita was that important to us). Of course if Natalie Merchant (and--wishful thinking--the rest of 10,000 Maniacs) included the Philippines in a world tour...
Reign of Terror
It's starting again, the robberies and kidnappings. It seems to be a cycle, gaining momentum and culminating every election season. Of course I have no hard evidence (ah, that CSI would be believable in a Filipino setting) that corrupt politicos are behind this particular crime but it seems to be the default notion to close to campaign period. Because they'll be needing the money, of course: it takes money to win elections. Would that this weren't true. But we live in the Philippines.
I was brought up to love my country and my father has always vowed that he would never leave the land of his birth. But right now he's almost prodding us to try and find work and relocate abroad.
Sometimes I am afraid--because I was born female; because I am in the middle class, a bit removed from poverty but still not in the power circle; because we may be targetted because of our family name when after all we are the poor relations; because lawbreakers don't excuse good people just trying hard to earn their keep from their rounds; because I am, to a large degree, helpless.
And so we live in interesting times.
I was brought up to love my country and my father has always vowed that he would never leave the land of his birth. But right now he's almost prodding us to try and find work and relocate abroad.
Sometimes I am afraid--because I was born female; because I am in the middle class, a bit removed from poverty but still not in the power circle; because we may be targetted because of our family name when after all we are the poor relations; because lawbreakers don't excuse good people just trying hard to earn their keep from their rounds; because I am, to a large degree, helpless.
And so we live in interesting times.
Saturday, August 23, 2003
Office Radio
Am at work to check on the monthly run for our agents' compensation system but system operator is actually playing bowling for our tournament first. I should have slept in. Grrr! So here I am blogging...
Am tuned in to K-Lite and heard No Ordinary Girl by Anika Paris. Quite upbeat. Sometimes I wish I could feel this way again someday. Ah, a song for the future:
And then a blast from the past. I never forgave myself for falling for a person who sang Everything But the Girl's I Didn't Know I Was Looking for Love to me--hook, line, and sinker. "And if you left I would be two-foot small/And every tear would be a waterfall." Well he was five-foot-two small and had a steady girlfriend when he sang that to me.
And finally there's Plumb's Worlds Collide: A Fairy Tale, very much for now:
In my good friend Mike's words: it's all good.
You're fading out, what did you say?
Am tuned in to K-Lite and heard No Ordinary Girl by Anika Paris. Quite upbeat. Sometimes I wish I could feel this way again someday. Ah, a song for the future:
Pardon my presumption
My dubious intentions
It isn't very often
That I fall this hard for someone
And I know this may sound crazy
I don't wanna freak you out
But give me just a moment
To tell you what I'm all about
And then a blast from the past. I never forgave myself for falling for a person who sang Everything But the Girl's I Didn't Know I Was Looking for Love to me--hook, line, and sinker. "And if you left I would be two-foot small/And every tear would be a waterfall." Well he was five-foot-two small and had a steady girlfriend when he sang that to me.
And finally there's Plumb's Worlds Collide: A Fairy Tale, very much for now:
Together we seemed perfect
A fairy tale for show
And looking on the outside
You'd never even know
That we're just not right
When compromise is wrong
Seems out of sight
In this place we belong
Giving everything
Giving everything for love
I'm finding out that it's not enough
There's nothing left between you and I
I'm finding faith but losing us
Where worlds collide
In my good friend Mike's words: it's all good.
You're fading out, what did you say?
Thursday, August 21, 2003
Fight for the future
The workweek comes to an end this afternoon, thanks to the martyred Ninoy Aquino who at least didn't have to see his youngest daughter grow up to be a garrulous unwed mother-cum-gossip show host-cum-liposuction client. Twenty years ago he died. Twenty years since I helped my father rain confetti down Ayala Avenue during various rallies and then his much-attended funeral.
Ninoy Aquino was a brilliant man. I was only 7 when he died but I felt the impact because my parents totally followed his career and constantly extolled his virtues. They thought that he would be the one to drag the country from the mire in which it seemed to have settled and was still sinking. But that was not to be the case. A still-unknown gunman took his life twenty years ago today.
My father has a picture with Ninoy Aquino, with Ninoy's arm around his shoulder. I keep it in my room, telling myself to have it blown-up and framed one day. My father used to work for the Cojuangcos, the family of Ninoy's wife. But ten years from now, I feel that noone will see the significance of that picture anymore than they remember that so many years ago, a dictator declared martial law and rounded up political prisoners left and right, some of them never again seeing the light of day. The Marcoses were said to have plundered millions of dollars' worth of government money and it took three years after the martyrdom of their staunch opponent Aquino for the People Power revolution to take place and install Ninoy's widow Cory to the Presidency.
Our country still hasn't recovered. Maybe if Ninoy had been President. Maybe, maybe, maybe. I can't say that it really would have been much better if he had lived, it's all maybes. Why celebrate something that happened so many years ago? It's all in the past anyway. Why celebrate, then? If only to give us inspiration. One man fought the good fight and died for his principles. We don't have to die to make a difference but the question is, do we even want to make a difference? I remember that a long time ago, I did. I don't know if it will take the 20th anniversary of a hero's death to reawaken those principles but it won't hurt. Today is an important day, if only to remember that there have been people, Benigno S. Aquino Jr. in particular, who so strongly felt for this country that most of us are dying to leave.
So, today I remember Ninoy Aquino, Edgar Jopson, Lorena Barrios, Lean Alejandro... my generation caught a glimpse of them and their heroic stance. Could we have imbibed nothing? Were their sacrifices all for nought? Will it take a whole new string of martyr deaths to jolt this country and its leaders into veering into the right direction?
Posted to riannesravings@yahoogroups.com
Ninoy Aquino was a brilliant man. I was only 7 when he died but I felt the impact because my parents totally followed his career and constantly extolled his virtues. They thought that he would be the one to drag the country from the mire in which it seemed to have settled and was still sinking. But that was not to be the case. A still-unknown gunman took his life twenty years ago today.
My father has a picture with Ninoy Aquino, with Ninoy's arm around his shoulder. I keep it in my room, telling myself to have it blown-up and framed one day. My father used to work for the Cojuangcos, the family of Ninoy's wife. But ten years from now, I feel that noone will see the significance of that picture anymore than they remember that so many years ago, a dictator declared martial law and rounded up political prisoners left and right, some of them never again seeing the light of day. The Marcoses were said to have plundered millions of dollars' worth of government money and it took three years after the martyrdom of their staunch opponent Aquino for the People Power revolution to take place and install Ninoy's widow Cory to the Presidency.
Our country still hasn't recovered. Maybe if Ninoy had been President. Maybe, maybe, maybe. I can't say that it really would have been much better if he had lived, it's all maybes. Why celebrate something that happened so many years ago? It's all in the past anyway. Why celebrate, then? If only to give us inspiration. One man fought the good fight and died for his principles. We don't have to die to make a difference but the question is, do we even want to make a difference? I remember that a long time ago, I did. I don't know if it will take the 20th anniversary of a hero's death to reawaken those principles but it won't hurt. Today is an important day, if only to remember that there have been people, Benigno S. Aquino Jr. in particular, who so strongly felt for this country that most of us are dying to leave.
So, today I remember Ninoy Aquino, Edgar Jopson, Lorena Barrios, Lean Alejandro... my generation caught a glimpse of them and their heroic stance. Could we have imbibed nothing? Were their sacrifices all for nought? Will it take a whole new string of martyr deaths to jolt this country and its leaders into veering into the right direction?
Posted to riannesravings@yahoogroups.com
Unreal Love
How can you tell someone that you REALLY love them and hope that what you have lasts a long long LONG time and then break up with them two months later?
Human nature. Circumstance. Constant change. Deception?
How could he?
How could I?
Wednesday, August 20, 2003
Being Published
Got my first article in a major mag published this month. I still don't know how much I'm earning for it, but it's a nice feeling seeing your name in print on a glossy page which you know a few thousand people at least will be reading, even if it is for a chick-mag. Tell me what you think if you've read it.
Musings
I don't know what's worse: having to ask "Am I fat?" because you need to be reassured, or not having to ask if you're fat because you know you are and just have to live with it.
__________
Having Ps.300 in your wallet till the end of the month sucks big time. Sucks even more when you're in a 12-step program to rid yourself of your credit card addiction.
__________
Joey asks Pacey, "Do you know why we're friends after all this time?"
Pacey replies, "Because we suck at meeting new people?"
Was actually rooting for them to get back together when I was channel-surfing last night and recalled that a few years back, some conversations over coffee actually were about Dawson, Pacey, Jen and Joey. Back when we were HFLK--Happy Fun-Loving Kids.
__________
Hate it when other people use my mug at work. You just suddenly see it on their desks and you're helpless because you don't want to seem like such a bitch who gets agitated by such mundane things...
__________
Why is it so easy to procrastinate?!
__________
Having Ps.300 in your wallet till the end of the month sucks big time. Sucks even more when you're in a 12-step program to rid yourself of your credit card addiction.
__________
Joey asks Pacey, "Do you know why we're friends after all this time?"
Pacey replies, "Because we suck at meeting new people?"
Was actually rooting for them to get back together when I was channel-surfing last night and recalled that a few years back, some conversations over coffee actually were about Dawson, Pacey, Jen and Joey. Back when we were HFLK--Happy Fun-Loving Kids.
__________
Hate it when other people use my mug at work. You just suddenly see it on their desks and you're helpless because you don't want to seem like such a bitch who gets agitated by such mundane things...
__________
Why is it so easy to procrastinate?!
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